Mined from the notebooks, Thursday, February 28, 2019. Posted Wednesday, March 6.
Still STILL not the worst person in the book “Football for a Buck” by Jeff Pearlman: Young New Jersey Generals owner Donald Trump with his then fixer and beloved legal mentor, the infamous McCarthyite attorney Roy Cohn, announcing the United States Football League had filed an antitrust lawsuit against the NFL, October 18, 1984. Photo by Marilynn K. Yee, courtesy of the New York Times via Time magazine.
Then there was the time, at Donald Trump’s instigation, the United States Football League sued the National Football League. It didn’t go so well.
This was in October of 1984. The USFL filed antitrust suit alleging that the NFL was using its clout as a monopoly to shut the financially floundering USFL out of television deals that might have saved it from going under with all hands.
The USFL’s lead attorney was initially league commissioner and former league counsel Bill McSherry, but...
The morning after he filed the complaint, McSherry was asleep in his Larchmont, New York home, when stirred awake by his wife, Betty. “Bill,” she said, “you have to see this!” The nearest television was tuned to the Today show, which was featuring the USFL’s lawsuit against the NFL. On the screen, at a Manhattan press conference, were two men: Trump and...Roy Cohn
“Of all the people he could hire as my cocounsel,” said McSherry, “Donald gets Roy Cohn.”
Yes, Roy Cohn---the attorney who discovered initial fame in the mid-1950s, when he represented Joseph McCarthy during the infamous tar and feathering of allege American communists and communist sympathizers. Cohn, wrote Michelle Dean of the Guardian, “was a kind of stage director of the major events of the Red Scare...another man would have let himself be an invisible functionary in those proceedings, but not Cohn. He made himself visible. He wanted to be front and center...shamelessness, in fact, was Cohn’s defining trait.” In this regard, the veteran attorney found a sibling-like figure in Trump, who first sought Cohn’s services in 1973, when he and his father were sued for discriminating against African Americans in their real estate rental policies. Although the Trumps ad, indeed, violated the law, Cohn’s advice was simple: “Tell them to got to hell!”...
Now at the press conference, Cohn was at his absolute best. Life magazine’s Nicholas von Hoffman called him “a master performing on television.” And the compliment fit. An odd-looking man with sleepy, almond-shaped eyes, elephantine ears, and a nose the shape of a crooked ice pick, Cohn stood before the gathered press and spoke persuasively of the NFL’s monopoly, and insisted a secret committee existed, with te sole purpose of destroying the USFL. Tough his refusal to cite any actual evidence raise eyebrows, it was overshadowed by his bombast and masterful articulation. Cohn may well have been one of America’s most loathsome men, but he was the best loathsome man to have on your side. “I can only make analogy to a criminal case,” he said at the press conference, a jabbing index finger accentuating his words. “How do they catch anybody? They catch anybody by someone on the inside coming along and saying, ‘Hey! You have a right to do a little concluding that we didn’t find this out and place it in the lawsuit by accident. Obviously, the information was supplied to us, and obviously, when [the NFL] created the USFL committee, they did not create it for the purpose of going over the airwaves or into newsprint. They didn’t expect anybody to know about it. We allege it was done in a clandestine manner.” ---from “Football for a Buck” by Jeff Pearlman.
Watching MIchael Cohen’s testimony before the House Oversight Committee [last] Wednesday [February 27, 2019], it might have looked as if the Republicans’ agenda for the hearing was to showcase the worst and the dumbest of the GOP House Caucus.
There they were, proudly grandstanding for the cameras: The dentist who believes that his twenty-five years drilling teeth have given him special insight into other people’s characters. The former cop who doesn’t understand the rules of evidence collection. The self-pitying birther who with tear-filled eyes demanded that everyone in the room stop thinking he’s racist even though he’s quite obviously racist. And the ranking member, a shouting, swaggering, and proudly jacketless middle-aged bully boy notorious for having looked the other way when he was an assistant wrestling coach at Ohio State and credible reports reached him that a university doctor had sexually abused members of his team.
The list goes on. Pierce has the bill of particulars.
And then there’s Matt Gaetz, who’s not a member of the committee but muscled his way into the act by engaging via Twitter in some lighthearted witness intimidation---
Do your wife & father-in-law know about your girlfriends? Maybe tonight would be a good time for that chat. I wonder if she’ll remain faithful when you’re in prison. She’s about to learn a lot.”
---in the process calling attention to his own less than savory past---drunk driving, spreading lunatic Right Wing conspiracy theories, inviting a Holocaust denier to the State of the Union and earning himself a slap down from House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and bringing himself to the attention of the Florida Bar.
Called out on his audition for the part of a Trump mob legbreaker---“Ok, Matt, pick up from where your character says, ‘Nice marriage, you got there, Mike. Be a shame if anything happened to it.’”---Gaetz desperately denied he intended the tweet as a threat and eventually worked his way to a grudging apology and attempt at self-exculpation. But the damage was done.
At any rate, like I said, it might have looked like their agenda was to deliberately make fools of themselves and embarrass the Party, but of course that wasn’t what they thought they were up to. They were out to make the hearing all about Michael Cohn and his dishonesty and not about Donald Trump and his.
Their tactic was simple: find various ways to hammer the point that Cohen couldn’t be trusted to tell the truth about how he made a career out of lying on Trump’s orders and behalf because he’d been convicted of lying on Trump’s orders and behalf. “Liar, liar, pants on fire,” as they maturely put it on a poster prominently displayed behind him by the mind-reading dentist, as if this was a high school pep rally and they were taunting their cross-town rivals. Which is in fact what it was.
Republicans are always and only talking to other Republicans. The object isn’t to persuade or even to argue with the rest of us. The object is to keep their voters riled up and eager to stampede to the polls. Make them too mad to think just react.
Cool-headed, reasonable analysts on both the left and the oppositional right pointed out that no Republicans on the committee came to Trump’s defense. But the base doesn’t think he needs defending. They don’t believe he did anything wrong.
The Evangelical right believe that Trump has reformed and given up all his sinful ways since God made him president.
Rank and file Republicans don’t believe a Republican can do wrong. Republicans are good people, the only good people. Good people don’t break the law. If one appears to there must be a good excuse or their accusers are lying. Besides, laws are for other people, and anyway the worst Republican is better than the best Democrat, not just politically but morally.
And then there’s a cohort among Trump’s mobs of hideous men who don’t care he broke the law. In fact they like it that he did. They wish they could. The law, as they see it, is written by self-serving bastards to keep them down. Trump breaks the law and gets away with it in their place. He beats the bastards at their own game.
As far as they’re concerned, all politicians are crooked, all lawyers are shysters, and all businessmen are ruthless, rapacious, and unprincipled thieves, and all three are self-dealing opportunists who will do anything to make a quick buck by picking the pockets of working stiffs and owners of little businesses in someway and thwarting their dreams of a lot with a view on the Big Rock Candy Mountain.
Seen through this lens, Donald Trump is no worse than most and better than a lot of them, particularly the ones who operate in New York and Washington, and if you’re set up to be screwed you might as well have another operator operating on your side who knows how to screw them back.
But it’s sinking in, slowly, that Trump is in fact...Trump! And none of them, not the Evangelicals, not the rank and file, not even the hideous men, want to face it.
Trump can’t be stupid because that would make them stupid or voting for him. He can’t be incompetent. He can’t be an immoral, unethical, unprincipled sleaze. He can’t be a fraud and a cheat. He can’t be a pathological liar. They can’t admit Trump is what he is because that would be as good as admitting they were played for either suckers or fools. Either way, they’d be admitting they made a giant mistake, and who’s ever eager to admit that?
So they don’t want to hear it. What they want to hear---what they need to hear, over and over again---is that he is what he isn’t and isn’t what he is. They need to be assured and reassured that it’s not him it’s THEM, those Others, his and their enemies.
They don’t want the Republicans in Congress to defend him against the charges presented in Cohen’s testimony. They want them to defend him against his enemies. Not just defend against them. Defeat them. And you don’t defeat enemies by arguing lawyeristically with them. You fight back and beat them into the ground.
Cohen is on the enemies list and that’s what the base wanted to see---the Republicans on the committee defending their President by verbally beating the lying snake into the ground.
Thing is, to paraphrase J.Pierrepont Morgan, Trump doesn’t hire lawyers to tell him what he can’t do; he hires them to tell him how to do what he wants to do. As “everybody knows”, lawyers are not the bosses of their clients. They are surrogates. Their job is to act in their clients’ stead. In effect, they are their clients.
Trump learned everything he wanted and needed in an attorney from Roy Cohn. When Cohn died, he went looking for attorneys who would be as ruthless and unethical as Cohn on Trump’s behalf. He didn’t have much choice. Ethical attorneys quickly learned to steer clear of him. He didn’t dare hire one if he could have because that would mean letting him or her in on his secrets---his crooked schemes, his frauds, his failures, and his general ineptitude---so someone like Michael Cohen was exactly the unscrupulous sort he needed to act in his stead. To be his surrogate self.
The trouble for him now is that in a significant way Michael Cohen isn’t a Donald Trump double.
Cohen has a conscience and a sense of shame.
He didn’t discover either about himself until Robert Mueller presented him with a mirror into his soul. By then it was too late to save himself from the law. But unlike others Mueller has taken down and will take down, Cohen hates what he saw in the mirror, and he decided he didn’t want to be that villain any more. That doesn’t make him a hero. He’s a repentant sinner who, like most repentants since Adam and Eve, is motivated primarily by his sorrow at having been caught.
What he got caught doing was being very diligent at doing what Donald Trump needed him to do to keep Donald Trump safe from the consequences of his many moral, ethical, and financial screw-ups. There is no evidentiary defense against this fact the committee Republicans could muster and plenty of evidence supporting Cohen.
The base certainly didn’t want to hear that, and the committee Republicans certainly didn’t want them to. There left nothing for Ranking Member Jim Jordan and his lieutenants on the committee to do then except act out the last line of the version of the centuries-old legal saw attributed to Carl Sandburg and purportedly favored by Trump apologist and apparently self-appointed pro bono legal counsel Alan Dershowitz:
If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell
Jordan, who I’m convinced goes jacketless so people can see it when he puffs out his prodigiously broad chest and beats on it, was especially enthusiastic about the pounding and yelling, to Saturday Night Live’s Bill Hader’s great glee.
Which brings me back to “Football for a Buck”.
Roy Cohn eventually grew too ill to continue representing the USFL in its suit against the NFL. The attorney Trump, who characteristically had taken over the whole show and made himself its star, was---marginally---not quite the sociopath Cohn was, but he was also not as smart and not as talented in the courtroom or in front of cameras. He was, however, in Trump’s view an improvement on Cohn one respect. Cohn led Trump by the hand. This character as more than willing to take his lead from Trump.
[Cohn’s] replacement, as selected by Trump without any input from the league’s other owners, was Harvey Myerson, a 47-year old attorney who went by the nickname “Heavy Hitter Harvey.” Myerson, according to a New York Times profile, “has come to personify the two sides of modern corporate law practice: its glamour, visibility and profitability as well as its instability, riskiness and potential for treachery.” He was described by Time magazine as “menacingly combative” but that passage left out rude, harsh, arrogant, dismissive and unlikable. His rate was $400 per hour, and his salary from (warning, take a deep breath) Finley, Kumble, Wagner, Heine, Underberg, Manley, Myerson and Casey---a 700-lawyer Manhattan-based firm---was $1.4. Myerson owned a Ferrari, a Rolls-Royce, five homes, a vast collection of cigars (he always reeked of smoke) and 20th-Century art. Though married, he lavished his wealth upon a string of mistresses---giving one an $86,000 Cartier ring and a $24,000 full-length mink coat. “To Myerson,” a former partner said, “there is no distinction between persuading his wife or clients or partners of something.”
“In short,” writes Pearlman, Myerson “was the personification of slime.”
He was something else, according to Jerry Argovitz, the former owner of the Houston Gamblers who had joined the front office of the Trump-owned New Jersey Generals: “absolutely beholden to Trump.”
But despite Myserson’s courtroom demeanor---
“Harvey was just a pounder [said Argovitz] he pounded on people. He yelled, he screamed, he hollered, he pointed fingers. And I don’t think he was very good at making legal points.”
---and despite taking his cues from Trump and putting Trump front and center in court---
“He was in Trump’s pocket [said players agent Steve Ehrhart, one of the actually decent people in “Football for a Buck”]. Whatever Donald said, went. And Donald wanted to be the star of the trial.”
---which meant despite Trump giving testimony that was, naturally, a string of obvious and disprovable lies, the USFL won the lawsuit.
“Won” being a relative term.
The jury awarded damages of...one dollar.
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“Football for a Buck: The Crazy Rise and Crazier Demise of the USFL” by Jeff Pearlman is available in hardcover and for kindle at Amazon and as an audiobook from Audible.
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