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When I heard the joke it was Stephen getting stoned, not an adulteress. But the song remains the same.


The version I heard was that the stone zaps the adultress right between the eyes, and the Christ looks down at her, out into the crowd, and grates out: "Daddammit, Mom, sometimes you REALLY piss me off..."

Mary Ellen Sandahl

Having receivec my early childhood religious education in a firmly mainline Protestant environment, I can't say anything interesting about the theological implications of the marriage at Cana story, but I can say one thing about the translation quoted above. I'm a smallish female, and have a part time job as a horticultural maintenance person, which means I haul water around in various containers. A 2-gallon plastic watering can weighs almost 10 pounds. Twenty or thirty gallons in a stone jar wouldn't be something that even a couple of muscular servants could just casually carry around. I use a rolling metal tank at one site that holds about 15 gals; it fell on its side while full once, and 3 big guys couldn't lift it back up - fortunately we were able to partially empty it. Either those stone jars at the Wedding were stationary jogs that were used, like ale casks, to fill smaller serving pitchers, or the translators got it wrong. (Of course helping the servers to levitate the jogs ight have been part of the miracle.)

Lance Mannion

Chief, it's funnier if "mother" comes at the end of the punchline.

JD, I think the scriptural underpinnings of your version hurt the joke. Stephen was the first Christian martyr. He died after Jesus ascended to heaven. He was actually stoned to death, which isn't funny unless it's done by Monty Python, and St Paul who was still Saul at the time led the mob that killed him.

Mary Ellen, "(Of course helping the servers to levitate the jogs ight have been part of the miracle.)" LOL!


Thanks for this mother's day celebration. I grew up with Borscht Belt Jewish humor, so I wasn't sure what to expect my freshman year when I had two room mates from Christian backgrounds. I definitely wasn't expecting "Drop that cross one more time and you're out of the parade." I doubt that's actually from the New Testament.

Not knownig whether those were US or British gallons, those 20-30 gallons could weigh from 160 to 300 pounds. A half keg full of beer weighs 160 pounds. A refrigerator weighs 300 pounds. It would probably take two men to haul it. Of course, I can't think of why the New Testament would be dealing with US or British measuring units.


to me the funniest thing about the enormous veronese painting is that it faces a painting that is 1 foot 6 inches by 2 feet 9 inches. that tiny canvas gets 100 times the traffic of the giant . . . because it is

    the mona lisa

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