“I can’t believe they hired us.”
“I can’t believe how little they’re paying us.”
“Because this is a job that requires a high level of education and compassion for your fellow man,” said Serge. “It’s like teachers. They know they’re decent folk who are going to do it anyway. And when people are that virtuous, there’s only one thing to do under our system: shit on ‘em each paycheck.”
This isn’t a post about what’s going on in Wisconsin, but feel free to apply the above quote.
Just remember it’s a serial killer talking.
Serge Storms, the cheerful and creative vigilante murderer, who is the anti-hero of Tim Dorsey’s series of comic crime novels. The quote is from the latest book, Electric Barracuda
Serge and his sidekick, the almost always stoned except when drunk and then only because the last batch of drugs has worn off and the next hasn’t kicked in Coleman, travel the highways and biways of Florida not necessarily looking for wrongs to right but always on the lookout for wrong-doers to do in. Also for souvenirs. Serge is a collector of Florida kitsch and memorabilia. Think the Lone Ranger and Tonto or the Green Hornet and Kato but with lots of time-outs for baking pot brownies, visiting historical sites, and engaging in wild and kinky sex---Serge is irresistible to certain types of crazy or criminally-minded women---and at the end of an adventure instead of the cops taking into custody a sheepish criminal to face a fair trail and just incarceration the coroner’s van hauls off a hideously but creatively mangled corpse.
Serge believes that the punishment should fit the crime and, since he’s also a talented artist, engineer, and amateur scientist, his victims tend to die in elaborately contrived traps and death machines Serge designs and builds himself, usually after a trip to one of his favorite places in the world, Home Depot.
Serge and Coleman mainly support themselves through various forms of theft. Every now and then, though, Serge insists they take a legitimate job.
An honest day’s work will “cleanse the palette,” he says so that they can better appreciate the freedom their life of crime affords them.
The above quote is from the beginning of a scene where they show up for their first night of work on a new job.
This job is answering phones for a suicide hotline.
For a serial killer, Serge has many virtues. He can be large-hearted and generous. His victims are mostly criminals of the most dangerous and bloody-minded sort and they usually meet their bizarre, macabre, gruesome, and appropriately-devised ends when Serge comes to the rescue of their intended victims. But he is, after all, a sociopath. An inability to empathize is useful in his chosen career. But it’s something of a handicap in his relationships with women and positively detrimental when trying to counsel someone at the end of their tether.
“…Because life is magnificent,” said Serge. “The problem is our wussy culture…stop crying…you’re conditioned to be weak and sniveling…you really have to stop crying…because it’s icky…So like on TV last night, I saw a commercial for ‘guilt-free dog treats.’ What the fuck? No wonder you’re screwed up…Hey, I’m screwed up, too, except you don’t see me calling a complete stranger on some hotline, droning on and on about how there’s no point anymore…When I said crying, I didn’t mean start screaming…You’re going to have to stop screaming…Jennifer? Who’s that?…Well, no wonder she dumped you…Great, more screaming. Now I understand why I’m the only person you can talk to---“
Click.
“Hello?…”said Serge. “Hellllooo? Anyone there?…Shit, disconnected.”
A deep appreciation for gallows humor is requisite for enjoying Dorsey’s books.
Something else that will help is checking in here this coming Thursday when this blog becomes a stop on Dorsey’s Virtual Book Tour.
I’m not sure how this is going to work. Details are still being arranged. I’m hoping Dorsey himself is going to show up to answer questions in the comments section. What I hope you will do is stake out the comments and see if he does and if he does ambush him with a question or two. The questions don’t have to be about Electric Barracuda
The tour officially stops here on Thursday but I’m planning to post my review of Electric Barracuda
Meanwhile, about Wisconsin…
Serge doesn’t just inflict his brand of justice on your typical criminals. Drug dealers, mobsters, thieves, and murderers make up the bulk of Serge’s body count, but at least once a book he’ll take out the sort of villain the law either can’t touch or that the law actually helps commit crimes against humanity and nature, like shady real estate developers, crooked building contractors, and dirty politicians. Some of these victims have real life counterparts, like the producer of Girls Gone Wild.
I might suggest to Dorsey that he model one on Governor Scott Walker.
I’m thinking the police find the body in an elementary school classroom.
Visit Tim Dorsey’s website.
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Of course I recommend rushing right out to your local library or bookstore to pick up a copy of Electric Barracuda
By the way, if you don’t have a kindle or a nook, you can download a kindle app for your PC
But libraries and bookstores are better.
Just saying.
Oh yes, gallows humor is a MUST for this book, that's for sure. Thanks for being a part of the book tour!
Posted by: Heather J. @ TLC Book Tours | Thursday, March 10, 2011 at 10:00 PM