Vampires, Wraith, banksters, and other villains meet for dinner at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe

In Stargate: Atlantis, the chief villains are an alien race of technologically advanced vampires called the Wraith.

The Wraith don’t drink their victims’ blood.  They suck the life force out of them in one gulp, leaving behind instantly aged and desiccated husks of the dead.

The Wraith look and sound and generally act evil, but from their own point of view they are simply out on an interstellar deer hunt.  They need to eat.  Humans are food.

The thing about the Wraith that make them evil from humanity’s point of view---as opposed to something like a plague of soul-sucking locust---is that the Wraith seem to expect humans to understand and accept their place on the food chain.

It pisses them off when a meal fights back.

They also seem to get a kick out of it when dinner shows it’s afraid and begs not to be eaten.

Which means the Wraith know that humans have intelligence and feelings.

They also know that individual humans can be smarter than individual Wraith.  Much smarter.

Yet none of this changes their thinking about what humans are and what they’re for.  Prey.

In fact, the more humans insist on their right to exist as something other than lunch by fighting for their lives to the point of taking the lives of the Wraith trying to feed on them, the angrier and more determined to show who’s in charge the Wraith get.

Which is kind of stupid of them.  If you feel you have to prove to a person he’s not a person you’ve pretty much conceded his personhood from the beginning.

The vampires in Terry Pratchett’s Carpe Jugulum are similarly stupid, in a comic way, of course.

They openly regard mortal humans as “cattle” and will tell any humans who ask that that’s what they are, meat on the hoof, and cheerfully wave away any objections on the part of the humans.

They expect their victims to understand their place and agree to it.

Better than the Wraith, the vampires know that humans have intelligence and feelings.  Unlike the Wraith, they will even make exceptions.  They will invite humans they take a liking to into their circle.  They will make them one of their own.  While for form’s sake this means a bite on the neck that turns a person into one of the bloodsucking undead, for all intents and purposes becoming a vampire is like joining an exclusive club.  You become a member because another member decides you are worthy of membership.

Which is a way of saying that personhood, with all its rights and privileges, isn’t inherent.  It’s granted to you by other persons of superior standing deciding you are good enough to be regarded as one of their own.

You’d think having your meal talk back to you as you’re about to dig in would put a damper on your appetite, the way it does for Arthur Dent when the cow-like animal serving itself up for dinner at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe asks if Arthur would like “a casserole of me perhaps?”

Arthur’s appalled and disgusted by the animal’s complicity in its own butchering, but he’s also stricken with an appetite-suppressing guilt.  He doesn’t want to consider the morality of eating animals who have thoughts and feelings, even if those animals think they want to be eaten and feel strongly that you should try something off their shoulder braised in a white wine sauce.

When Arthur converts on the spot to vegetarianism and tries to order a green salad, the offended animal informs him that it knows many vegetables that are very clear on the point of not wanting to wind up as a side dish.

Stricken, Arthur says he’ll have only a glass of water, but Zaphod Beeblebrox blithely orders steaks, rare, and the pleased, and approving, animal waddles off to the kitchen to shoot itself, promising to be very humane in committing suicide.

The vampires don’t expect their victims to be quite so accommodating.  In fact, they seem to enjoy it when a victim objects to having her neck tapped, because it gives them a chance to explain why things are the way they are, with vampires at the top of the food chain and humans down a few rungs with cattle and other livestock.

There’s an obvious absurdity in trying to reason with a creature you supposedly don’t believe has the capability of reason.  Even in Discworld, where magic replaces physics, no one expects a cow to understand the justification of what’s about to happen in the slaughterhouse.

But the vampires do expect their victims to understand or at least see that the vampires have a point, and it infuriates them when victims argue back by reaching for a mallet and a wooden stake.

You’re ahead of me, aren’t you?

The Wraith and Pratchett’s vampires sound very much like human beings when they are in pursuit of money or power.

In our democratic age, the power-hungry have to be careful about not letting on that they regard the people they intend to break to their will as tools and playthings.  And they don’t dare demand gratitude, at least not explicitly for being subjugated to the political vampire’s will.

They will, though, hint, and hint strongly, that their victims need to understand their lowly place in the scheme of things and accept it without too much complaining.

Political vampires pretending to be liberals will talk about listening to the experts.  Political vampires pretending to be conservatives will talk about authority, tradition, values, and being part of the “mainstream.”

Both are really saying, Shut up, scum, and let your betters run the show.

Money-hungry Wraith and vampires don’t feel the same pressure to exercise tact.

Just the opposite.

They love to boast about how they’re sucking the blood and the life-forces out whomever they can lay their hands on or sink their teeth into and they expect the rest of us to enjoy their boasting as well as their vampirism, nod along in approval, admire and celebrate them for it, and even teach our children to want to grow up to be like them.

Business magazines and the business sections of newspapers are full of profiles of vampires cheerfully explaining how they go about sucking lesser mortals dry and why they should be rewarded and applauded like heroes for doing it.

It perplexes them and irritates them when people they regard as fit for nothing but to be made a meal of object and fight back even if only to the point of suggesting that the vampires cut down a bit on their snacking between meals.

A major theme of the Galtism that infects the corporate world, particularly the Wall Street vampires but also the assistant ghouls down on Main Street, is indignation.

The nerve of you parasites not knowing and admitting that you are parasites.  Besides going down on your knees to thank us for exploiting you, to your undeserved and unearned benefit, you should grovel in apology for your presumption while you’re down there!

Naturally, not everybody in the business world is a vampire.  But it’s true that the business world seems to be run by more and more of them.  The general attitude of the suits running the economy these days is that other people are things to be used.  If they’re employees they are merely tools.  If they’re customers, they’re merely wallets to be opened and emptied.

Tools that don’t know they’re tools need to be thrown away immediately.  Wallets that think they’re in control of their own money need to be opened and emptied with more force.  If force doesn’t work, then trickery and stealth need to be employed.  If that doesn’t do the trick, try shame.

What do you mean you can’t afford a new car?  What’s the matter with you?  Are you some kind of loser?

You don’t have a 4G smart phone?

You’re going to live where?  With how little closet space?

Lately we’re beginning to hear how the crumby state of the economy is our fault.

We’re not out there spending enough.

Some of this is even coming from Democrats.

Vampires always have their Renfields.

But this isn’t a Republican vs. Democrat thing.

It’s a human thing.

There are liberal-voting butchers with their thumbs on their scales.  There are conservative-voting doctors who tear up the bills for their poorer patients.

How someone votes is not the best indicator of how that someone treats other people in their daily lives.

And it’s not an illness particular to our times or culture.

In the agoras of Ancient Greece and the souks along the Spice Road there were merchants and shopkeepers who stood in their doorways and behind their counters watching people pass by their shops and stalls with their eyes narrowed in hatred as if everyone who didn’t stop and buy was deliberately spiting them by not needing to spend money at the moment.

What may be particular to our place and time is the degree to which the vampires are mistaken for regular human beings.

Like I said, the Wraith look and act evil.  They are gray-faced, shark-toothed, and ugly.  They have Nosferatu-like long hands and fingers and claw-like nails.  They hiss when they talk and grin madly when they are about to feast on a victim.

The vampires of Discworld, however, are perfectly charming.   They speak calmly, they are well-educated and have sophisticated tastes.  They dress well.

They are sexy, seductive, and impressive in their smooth, self-satisfied arrogance.  They know they are more successful than you, but they hold out the possibility that you can share in their success.

They are the kind of people you want to like you and whose club you want to be part of.

It’s very easy to be in a room with them and forget who and what they are and even to start thinking they have a point.

People so charming, so reasonable, so nice must be nice, right?

Until you cross them.

All of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels are available to buy through my aStore.

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Technorati Tags: Terry Pratchett,Carpe Jugulum,Stargate,Atlantis,vampires,Wraith,Nosferatu,The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Comments

[Sue]

"We're not out there spending enough."
That's nothing new. Up until a year or so ago, that's the story major news organizations led newscasts with every Monday after Thanksgiving.
'Economists speculate that this holiday season could be one of the worst in years etc. etc.' which loosely translates into: 'OMG if you people don't buy more Christmas crap the whole economy will collapse! Who cares if you don't have the money, that's what credit cards are for! Hurry hurry, you've only got a few weeks to save the economy!'
For a long time, our magic-unicorn economy has been based on people whose jobs were disappearing either to other countries or into the mist keeping things going by spending money they didn't have. It's amazing things didn't implode sooner.

[Lance]

Sue, all too true.

[Batocchio]

Great stuff, Lance. I call it a feudal mindset. If you'll forgive a link, I've written a few recent posts on these dynamics and plutocracy, with this one being the most relevant to your post. Like Orwell quipped, some are more equal than others.

[actor212]

"My rump is particularly tender tonight"

[Sal Salzman]

Pratchett's vampires aren't that cut-and-dried.

You've got the black ribboners, "reformed" vampires who want to blend in with society. Most obvious examples are Sally, the cop in Thud, and Otto, the "photographer" in several books, notably in The Truth.

From what we've seen, even Wall-Street's vampires can reform and become vital and useful members of society, but it is rare.

[Lance]

B, links from you are always welcome.

Sal, you're right, and I sure don't want to slight Otto, who is one of my favorite characters, or Lady Margolotta. And of course there are the rumors about the Patrician himself...

I was focusing only on the vampires---excuse me.---vampyres in Carpe Jugulum.

[Phoenix Woman]

Lance: Thanks for this. And if there are any Randroids (such as Allen Greenspan, Paul Ryan or Mark Sanford) out there who object to their characterization, I have this for them: http://www.michaelprescott.net/hickman.htm

The thing about Randroids is that they are typically infected as teens or first-year college kids; if they're not hooked by that time, they've generally matured enough so that they actually possess full-fledged consciences, and aren't just walking Ids or Egoes. (If you ever meet a Randroid who became one after the age of twenty-five, take good notes: You will have standing before you a hopelessly perfect moral idiot.) But young, insecure, clever but socially awkward teens are the perfect recruits: Rand tells them that they are superior and they don't need to learn social skills or give a rat's ass about anyone but themselves.

[tdraicer]

>Some of this is even coming from Democrats

Care to name names? I'd have Obama at the top of my list, except that I don't consider someone who makes a centrist like Bill Clinton look like FDR in comparison in any meaningful sense a Democrat.