The Tattooed Attorney

In the cafe at Barnes & Noble involuntarily eavesdropping on a lawyer conferring by cell phone with a client.

Don’t think I’d like it if my lawyer broadcast it in public that I was being sued.

Lawyer’s middle-aged, going bald.  Wearing shorts and a tank top, with brown plastic framed reading glasses on the end of his nose.  Large tattoo of an eagle on his right bicep, large tattoo of a wolf on his left.

Almost reads like the opening of an Elmore Leonard novel, except that the case is a simple contract dispute.  Client’s a contractor of some sort being sued for not completing work he apparently believes he never promised to do.  Lawyer’s trying to establish if the client ever used the word “I” when he should have been using “we” when negotiating with the customer suing him.

Of course these things can lead to intrigue and bloodshed.  Maybe there are mob connections.  Mob money winding up in the wrong pockets.  A woman involved.

Conversation’s over.  Lawyer’s reading a book now.  Anxiety & Panic Attacks.

NOW we’re cooking!

If you claim to be a writer and can’t get a crime novel out of a tattooed lawyer operating out of a bookstore coffee bar who suffers from panic attacks give it up and get a job writing technical manuals

Comments

[Linkmeister]

If you claim to be a writer and can’t get a crime novel out of a tattooed lawyer operating out of a bookstore coffee bar who suffers from panic attacks give it up and get a job writing technical manuals.

Or "Crime Novels for Dummies."

[chris the cop]

Great point, Lance. So when do you start?

Another in a series of reasons why I'm glad I'm not a lawyer is that unless you really really REALLY enjoy writing contracts (which outside of criminal work is what about 99% of all lawyers do) you won't like the basic work. (No reason for this point - just felt like making it)

And the problem with being a criminal lawyer is that no matter what side you're on, you deal with people who are yucky.

[scribbler50]

I'm already on Chapter Two. Chapter One ended with Mr. Tattoo breathing into a paper bag and Evelyn Wood-ing through his book, not just because Nunzio had walked in... the owner of the "wronged" construction site whose neck is wider than his head... but because some guy over in Gothic Romance happened to wink at him.

But seriously, Lance, very clever post, Sir!

[Ken Muldrew]

Did you ever see the Australian movie, "The Castle"? A very humanizing look at lawyers (or at least some lawyers).

Just another random point about lawyers...but hey, Chris started it.

[actor212]

Ditto Chris' comment, Lance. When do we see the first draft?

[El Jefe]

Everything Chris said, in whatever you've called trumps, plus never trust a trial lawyer who wears a double-breasted suit to work.

scribbler50,
Like where you're going. I remember once reading a mystery where a dozen or so famous authors had contributed a chapter apiece, only being given the manuscript when it was their turn and with permission to take the story in their own direction. The next Elmore Leonard will be crowdsourced, then?