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At least you're not gay , Lance. You're over the hill at 30 if you're single. Even then, love can be evanescent. Loved your post as always, but it could be worse. You speak of vanity- we gay men have a tendency to that, and with our lovers we often mirror each other. There's lust, love if you're lucky (as I was) but also male competition, measuring, all mixed up.

Yes getting older stinks. Yet lust and imagination remains, which must be God's idea of a joke on us all.

Doug K

"the jeans start hanging slack in the rear."

wife and I were in Costco shopping for garden furniture. I was looking at a pair of Levis that were really much too fashionable for me, when she said "those would make your butt disappear. No. Absolutely not."
I had no idea she still noticed..

Like you I'm finding it very difficult to age gracefully. And of course sex trumps everything - the reptile brain has veto powers.

Why did Souder fall ? I like this quote:
"feminine beauty is a magnet which attracts all men; it serves them for a standard of morality and a test of right and wrong."
Mrs. Bellamy, in the novel Dawn, by that unfashionable writer H Rider Haggard.


When considering one's age, it's best to think of the net, not the gross. I can't do ten mile hikes anymore, or just grab a bag and head out for the weekend, but I've gained the self-knowledge that enables me to avoid the kinds of problems that bedeviled me in my 20s, and that's unlocked a level of happiness I never approached before.

So I got that going for me.


Spooky...Dickensian, too.

Ken Muldrew

I wonder if an innate ability to perform risk assessment might be a factor here. If you have an intuitive grasp on the notion that risk is determined by the product (as in multiplicative) of the likelihood of something going wrong and the consequences should something go wrong, and you are able to honestly evaluate both, then your behavior might be tempered, somewhat, compared to the likes of Souder. An ability to predict trouble, and the certain knowledge that you really don't need that kind of trouble, thank you very much, could easily reduce opportunities being seized in the young and hold vanity in check in the middle ages. You will still feel as vulnerable, because the assessment of consequences isn't going to quench your desires, or your vanities, or your fantasies. But behavior is the yardstick that we measure fools by, not intention, so only fools are granted the certainty of their foolishness.

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