The tragedy will not be twittered

Announcer comes on over the PA system before the curtain rises for Saturday night’s performance of Hamlet.  Usual 21st Century warnings.  Turn off cell phones.  No photographing or video recordings.  Then this:

“Please refrain from texting during the show.”

In other words, words, words, no twittering the play!

I’m sure people do it, even though it’s a good way to get yourself sent to that undiscover’d country from whose bourn no traveler returns.

Of course, once I thought about this I began to wish that I could twitter the play or live blog it. Fortunately the seats in the Broadhurst are narrow and packed close together and my arms were pinned by the blonde on one side and a large, brawny, too too solid Russian guy on the other.  I know he was Russian because during scene changes and other breaks in the action he whispered commentary and probably translations of key passages to his date who whispered questions and her own translations of key passages back.

So I thought better of it.  And the better of it I thought the more I thought that twittering or live-blogging Hamlet is redundant.  The play is one long live-blogging of itself.  Hamlet tweets his way through all five acts.

And naturally I couldn’t resist imaging a few of the Prince of Denmark’s tweets.

SwtPrince_dk @queengert @UncleClaud Seems? I know not seems!

SwtPrince_dk Oh that this 2 2 solid flesh wld melt thaw resolve itself=dew

SwtPrince_dk Uncle:father::me:Hercules. LMAO

SwtPrince_dk RT @Marcellus Something is rotten in the state of DK || Ya think?

SwtPrince_dk RT @DaneKing I am thy father’s spirit || Oh yeah?  Prove it!

SwtPrince_dk @Horatio In heaven & earth > yr philosophy

SwtPrince_dk 2B or not 2B that is the ? Thoughts?

SwtPrince_dk Who would fardels bear to grunt and sweat under a weary life

SwtPrince_dk Hey, Tweeps! Fardels? Definition? Anyone?

SwtPrince_dk @RosGuild I am but mad N by NW when the wind is S'ly I know a hawk from a handsaw

SwtPrince_dk @RosGuild Nthng gd/bad but thnkng makes it so

SwtPrince_dk RT @Polonius My ld, I will use them = their desert || Od’s bodkin, man, much better!

SwtPrince_dk @Polonius Use every man = their desert and who shall scape whipping?

SwtPrince_dk @Horatio The play’s the thing wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the king

SwtPrince_dk RT @queengert The lady doth protest too much || You would know, mom

SwtPrince_dk @UncleClaud Dead for a ducat!

SwtPrince_dk @Polonius Whoops. Sorry about that.

SwtPrince_dk Alas, poor Yorick I knew him @Horatio. See my blog for post I wrote about him, Infinite Jest. http://snurl.com/tehlk

SwtPrince_dk @Laertes Come on, sir!

SwtPrince_dk RT @Laertes Come, my lord! || One!

SwtPrince_dk RT @Laertes No. || @waterfly Judgment?

SwtPrince_dk RT @waterfly A hit, a very palpable hit! || @Laertes Told ya!

SwtPrince_dk RT @Laertes Hamlet, thou art slain || Then venom do thy work

SwtPrince_dk @UncleClaud Drink off this potion

SwtPrince_dk Oh I die @Horatio the potent poison quite o’er-crows my spirit. Cant live to hear the news from England but I do prophesy the elect lites

SwtPrince_dk @Horatio Fie on the 140 character limit!

SwtPrince_dk @Horatio Forget it. Never saw the point of the @NorwayFort subplot anyway

SwtPrince_dk @Horatio iphone battery dying too. Irony?

SwtPrince_dk @Horatio The rest is silence

Done.  I’m working on my review of the show.  I’ll post it as soon as time and holiday travels allow.  Meantime, Jim Wolcott went strolling along the Great White Way the day after we did and he came back with this review of So Help Me God!

And feel free to add your own Hamlet tweets in the comments.

Comments

[El Jefe]

Fie on the 140 character limit, indeed. Outstanding.

And come along, folks. Polonius, I know you're out there somewhere -- 2 thy pwned self B tru!

[El Jefe]

I've been following Claudius' other account and he sounds pretty chipper (had to take out the address marks, HTML was feeling cranky) ...

KingMe Voxpopuli Bro's memory still green. Feeling guilty? NOT! Meet the wife, off 2 spend political capital.

KingMe OedpialSpirits Definitely worth it. Gertrude's teh hot.

KingMe MincingRicky Set me the stoups of wine upon that table. And five kroner on Laertes.

And there was this, which seems like it was misdelivered because of a similar hashtag:

LayOnMacDuff HagsRUS Sound. Fury. Idiots. I got nothin. >:P

[Dutch]

Lance, I think it's more about the distraction of a glowing screen in a theater than leaking Shakespearian plot points to the twittersphere.

I hate being pulled out of movie by talkers or telephoners. I almost prefer yakkers to being pulled out by the sudden flashlight glow of an iPhone screen in the audience.

[Dutch]

I dawns on me that I was being literal about the setup to schtick when I should have just said, "Good schitck, Lance."

Good schtick, Lance.

[Tirebiter in Sector R]

Previously undownloadified tweet from Claudius:

That play-within-a-play thing tore it. I’m gonna send Hesitant Boy to England and have him snuffed. Then we can have some peace around here.