From The Adventures of Lance Mannion: Lance Mannion and the Mystery of the Golden Coffin

Mannion had trouble getting his head around it.  The chimp had brought his own interpreter!  Mannion shrugged.  "I'm sorry for your loss," he said, "He was a good man."

The interpreter made signs at the chimp.  The chimp made signs back.

"Thank you," the interpreter said, interpreting, "He was a good man, and so generous."

The chimp signed again.

"He left me very well provided for," the interpeter said.  "He left me all the royalties from the Abbey Road album."

Every head in the receiving round snapped around to face Bubbles.  Mannion saw dollar signs light up in too many eyes and right then he knew he was in the company of a soon-to-be ex-primate.

Comments

[El Jefe]

Oh. Nice. Will he shuffle off his mortal coil, or merely cease to be? How do you shuffle in ASL, anyway? I can't remember.

[Kevin Hayden]

There's worse fates possible. For ex-primates, they'll usually provide a good pension and build them a library in Texas or California.

[actor212]

Well, I asked...

[Linkmeister]

Ook!

[El Jefe]

actor212,
Yes, you did, and some of us in our own warped way are even grateful. He's not going to top "we don't Twitter bank robberies," though. That needs get in the lexicon, like the fridge and the shark, only in this case about the learned failure to take meatspace seriously.

Lance,
Have you noticed that the recently departed's doc has a Van Dyck straight out of the Blago Barbershop? It's like a trial lawyer who wears a double-breasted suit to work -- just walk away. What would the pulp-writers make of that.

And as a measure of actual respect, Jermaine was unexpectedly and truly graceful. But then I'm a sucker for Chaplin anyway.

[El Jefe]

(Seem to have lost the first version of this. I'll come in again.)

Linkmeister,
Represent, librarians.

And Kevin,
I sympathize entirely with what you said. But to suggest Reagan and Nixon were ex-primates, even backhandedly, is an insult to thumbed beings everywhere.