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This was deeply moving. Thanks for writing about it.

minstrel hussain boy

yeah. it's tough. this was a moving and beautiful piece of writing lance. it made me miss jeff too.



Shoot, my sympathies. But what a nicely sketched portrait of Jeff you've written. I've friend that reminds me of what you said, we go for ages without speaking. Think I'll give him a call.


My advice? Don't be a chicken. :) And, if you can, send his wife this post. It would probably mean a lot to her.

I am sorry for your loss.


Dumb Ox

Lance, you can't not tell us the other piece of advice (not drinking while appearing comfortable at bars). Some of us still need help in that area.
Sorry for you loss.




Truly a wonderful eulogy, Lance. My condolences to you and to his family.


This was a beautiful tribute to your friend. Thank you for writing it.


Every man needs one friend like that, Lance. I'm sad for your loss.


Oh Lance, I am so sorry.


Aw, honey, I'm sorry. He sounds like a major moment in time.

And I'm with Mixter. Call his mom, get the address and send this to his wife. She needs to know that someone found him wise and strong, and that you saw him wait for her to do it for himself.

Whatever the emoticon of the moment for a hug is.


Kathleen Maher

Lance, please accept my sympathies. I agree with julia above. Made sure his family reads how you remember him.

Uncle Merlin

I think this post is, wonderful, you marked his life and his touch with such a moving tribute, but you were always supreme at that. You remember the people of your life in stunning detail.
Jeff would want you to call his wife for sure, and ya know Lance it will be good for you too. I am sure from what you said of Jeff, she will not think you are a stranger, she already knows you. You just need to find that out.

I think you are right we do live in a mix of presents that is a good way to describe that. Although some of them must come from other universes for sure!
I just contacted an old friend I had a major falling out with years ago, he was someone I learned a lot of little helpful things from. Not a lot of major things like Jeff taught you. But like Jeff he pushed me to be a bigger person in many small ways.
But to my shock that friend is gone, there is someone there for sure but the man I knew is gone. I met a stranger who I don't recognize in any detail.
A very strange and haunting experience, words fail me. Something I never expected to encounter and I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

I thank my lucky stars Lance you are in my life and I still keep learning from you. Please don't switch Universes it's very disturbing indeed.
Aloha to Jeff
Aloha to You

Uncle Merlin


What a wonderful remembrance. Thank you for sharing him with us.


Beautiful, heart-piercing tribute.

Make that call. And Lance, I am so sorry.


Thank you one and all, folks. I will pass along your thoughts to his wife and sons.

Uncle Merlin, remember, you promised not to switch universes before me.

Ox, Jeff's advice was pretty simple. Always be the one who goes to get the drinks. That way you look like you're part of the fun. If everybody's drinking beer, order pitchers and do the pouring. Again, you look involved and no one can keep track of who had how many. If people are drinking different things, order a beer in a bottle, preferably a long neck. No one can see how much is in it and you can look kind of cool holding the bottle by the top of the neck like Robert Redford in The Sting.

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