Old Sneep

One of my favorite books when I was very young was Lentil, by Robert McCloskey, who wrote another of my favorite books, Make Way For Ducklings.

Lentil is a boy who desperately wanted to make music.  Trouble was he couldn't sing.  "Whenever he opened his mouth to try, only strange sounds came out."   And "he couldn't even whistle because he couldn't pucker his lips."  But one day he buys a harmonica and his problem is solved.  He teaches himself how to play---"his favorite place to practice was the bathtub because there the tone was improved one hundred percent"---and from that day on Lentil is the most musical kid in Alto, Ohio, which comes in very handy when Colonel Carter, Alto's most famous citizen, comes home for a visit.

There's a character in the story named Old Sneep.  Old Sneep is a cranky geezer who spends a lot of time alone muttering to himself about how life ain't what it oughta be.  "Old Sneep didn't much like anything or anybody.  He just sat on a park bench and whittled and grumbled."  When he hears that the Colonel is returning and that the whole town will be turning out to welcome him with cheers, speeches, and a parade complete with a brass band, Sneep is less than amused.

Seems Sneep knew the Colonel when they were both young and he was never impressed.  Sure, the Colonel is rich and he gave the town its library, a hospital, and a park, but that doesn't make him any better than anybody else, in Sneep's opinion, and folks in town are fools for treating the man as if he is.

Sneep decides Colonel Carter needs "takin' down a peg or two."

Comes the day of the Colonel's arrival and everybody turns up at the train station.  The train pulls in, the Colonel appears at the door of his private car, the band leader raises his baton, and---

Slurp!

A wet sound from above.

Everybody looks up.

There's Old Sneep, sitting on a nearby rooftop, sucking on a slice of lemon.

Shlish!

The sight, and sound, of Sneep enjoying his lemon causes everybody's lips to pucker and their cheeks to contract.

"The whole band looked up at Old Sneep.  The mayor gave the signal to play, but the cornetist couldn't play his cornet, the piccolo player couldn't play his piccolo, the trombone player couldn't play his trombone, and the tuba player couldn't play his tuba, because their lips were all puckered up.  They couldn't play a single note!  The musicians just stood there holding their instruments and looking up at Sneep sucking on the lemon.  The leader looked helpless.  The people were too surprised to move or say a thing.  And the mayor wrung his hands and wore a look that said: 'Can't somebody do something, please!'"

Lentil and his harmonica come to the rescue.

The world is full of Old Sneeps.  Not all Old Sneeps are old, not all of them are men.  But they're all the same.   They're all convinced that the rest of us are fools too easily carried away by the prospect of a party.  The sight of other people having a good time makes them grumpy and they become determined to rain on the picnic.  Of course they don't admit that this is what they're up to.  What they say is that they're just telling the truth for our own good, truth they somehow grasped while the rest of us were being too silly or stupid or caught up in dreams and illusions to catch on to for ourselves.

Under the pretext of doing the rest of halfwits the favor of enlightening us morally or intellectually, they make us watch while they sit there and suck lemons.

Read Joe Bageant lately?

Comments

[Apostate]

Ouch. I kinda agree with him.

Except that he needs to visit California. It's not all hope and peaches and cream here.

It's just like anywhere else in America, with sometimes better weather and more variedly-hued people. And a liberalism of the half-assed variety that frequently disappoints (Prop 8, anyone?).

[Mike Schilling]

In 2000, California proposition 22 (to ban same-sex marriage) won 61-38. In 2008, California proposition 8 (to end same-sex marriage won 52-48. 22 won because an overwhelming number of voters would never accept same-sex marriage. 8 won because the "No on 8" folks ran a half-assed campaign and all that money came in from out of state. Yes, I'm angry that it won, but look how much progress we've made in just eight years.

Likewise, I know that Obama isn't going to save the world, but compare him to Bush or McCain, and tell me that an intelligent, thoughtful man who understands the problems we're facing isn't a vast improvement on both of them. (Yes, Lance, Hillary would have been a vast improvement too.)

[Linkmeister]

Is Bageant auditioning for Andy Rooney's 60 Minutes job?

There's being a realist and there's being a Cassandra. It looks like Bageant has decided on the second role, a full month before Obama has even taken office.

Sucking lemons is all well and good, but does he have to scrape the zest off (culinary pun!) for the rest of us?

[Apostate]

Mike, it isn't just that Obama isn't going to "save the world." The BEST he can hope to do is not actively make things worse. We're so beyond the tipping point up shit creek that even not making things worse isn't helpful - they're going to get worse all on their own.

That's not Obama's fault, even if he wasn't a centrist small-r Republican in disguise (as is Hillary Clinton and most Dems). That's just how things are right now.

Yes, I'm a pessimist. But things ARE really bad.

Prop 8, by the way, just sprung to mind as a quick example. California is not that hippie-dippie happy librul flowers-in-your-hair place that Joe seemed to be implying, was my point. Not even San Francisco is that place - it's full of Republican investment bankers, Republican lawyers and corporatist stooges (of which I happen to be one, God help me). All the "artists" moved to Oakland around the time of the dotcom boom and have since moved out of state to live with their mothers in Ohio.

[Apostate]

To take your point, Mike - is Obama better than any Republican? Sure. But it's such a low bar that I'm sure you'll forgive me if I'm not ecstatic.

For the record, I voted for Obama, wanted him to win, and for almost a week after Nov. 4, I was VERY thrilled that he won. Then reality set in.

On good days, I compare the United States to Pakistan and I can see hardly any flaws in my adopted country. You compare Obama to McCain and yes, he comes out smelling like roses. Comparisons can be deceptive.

[cali]

"My lack of enthusiasm over his victory creates awkwardness among my peers and heightens my feeling of political alienation. After the election I had the queasy sense of being on the outside edge of a mass delusion."

Yep. That's me, too. And note to Joe, I'm in California.

Read Joe's "Deer Hunting with Jesus" several weeks ago. I highly recommend it.

[Sherry Chandler]

Cassandra was right.

Just sayin'

I voted for Obama and am sometimes mildly hopeful that he can make things better and sometimes feel as though his name should be Quisling. I don't think I'm alone.

Sometimes I read Joe Bageant. Sometimes I think he makes good points and sometimes I get bored and quit long before I get to the end of a rant. I most always think he probably shouldn't be dismissed.