Studio 60: Live-blogging the aftermath of the Kiss while denying I'm attracted to any girl on girl thoughts involving Sarah Paulson

Actual Studio 60 live-blogging will begin at 10:00 EST, 9:00, but the bar and the thread are open now.  Feel free to start leaving your comments and getting snockered as soon as you arrive.  The management is suggesting that opening comments should focus on the big events from the Christmas episode, THE KISS and Danny's announcement that he's going to start stalking Jordan, but go with your gut.  You may have some things to say about Ken Levine's post on Aaron Sorkin or you may want to talk about which character is most likely to be rooting for the Colts in the Superbowl.  Knock yourselves out.  Meanwhile, our host for the evening is...me, and I've got something serious on my mind.  You can tell because I'm wearing my red tie.  When I wear my blue tie I'm in a mellow mood, but when I'm wearing the red one...hoo boy!  Watch out.

Ok, here I come.  Ladies and gentlemen, right here on our stage, live and in person, the man who owns not one but two ties and a pretty decent suit to go with them, if only he'd remembered to wear a shirt...Laaaaaaaaance Maaaaaanion!

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the return of Studio 60 live-blogging.  I hope you'll all forgive me if I don't appear to be in the mood for the usual jocularity and hijinks these sessions are famous for.

Those of you who have been a part of our live-blogging before and those of you who have dropped by to lurk know that I usually begin these posts with a few jokes and gentle witticisms.  It's all in good fun and meant to put us all at ease and, I hope, we never intentionally hurt anyone in the process.  At the end of the day, we are all just fellow creatures of God, denizens of this little rock, three in from the sun, we call home and which I like to call, "Earth."

But tonight I have something important on my mind and I would like to get it out of the way.  Clear the air, as it were.

I received an email today.  The email was from a person I thought of as a friend, a person whose intelligence, insight, perspicacity, wisdom, and fashion sense I have always admired.  Often this person has sent me joshing, almost---how shall I say it---teasing notes, kidding me about things I've written on my blog.  I've usually taken it in stride.  It's all in fun and the fact that this friend of mine has had several nervous breakdowns and spent three years in a Mexican jail excuses much.

But I think this note was out of line, and I can't help it, I have to share it with you, because I have no doubt that some of you may be thinking the same thought as my friend.  Possibly you too have had several nervous breakdowns and spent time in some godforesaken third world hellhole being tortured daily by your guards.  I don't know and I wouldn't presume to say.  Nevermind.  Let's get on with this.

My friend wrote---and forgive me if I can't read this without getting a little red-faced and angry---my friend wrote:

"Oh come off it, Lance.  It's time to stop pretending.  We all know what's going on.  All this obsessing over Sarah Paulson and what a liability she is to Studio 60?  You don't fool us.  All your going on about how it's not her but her character, how it's Sorkin's writing?  Pretending it's the show itself you care about?  I call bullshit, buster!  It's Paulson herself you're obsessed with!  You're crazy in love with her!  We all know it!  And we all know it's the fact that she's gay that's really gotten under your skin.  You're all hot and bothered by the thought of her and Cherry Jones getting it on backstage at the Golden Globes!   When Matthew Perry planted the big one on her in the last episode, you were thinking, Wow, I bet she really wishes it was Amanda Peet right now!  You're a sick, twisted man, Mannion, and we're onto you.  Seek help.  I'm including the private phone number of one of the best shrinks in Beverly Hills.  Call him now, before you embarrass yourself any more.  Best to the blonde.  Hugs and kisses.  Your old pal and fellow fan of hot girl on girl action..."

I'll refrain from giving you the man's name.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure you are as appalled by this as I am.  As I hope you are aware, we try to maintain an objective, fair and unbiased, professional distance from our subjects.  Sure, our criticism can be tough, biting, and sometimes downright harsh, but it's because we care, about you.  We want your television watching experience to be the best that it can be and we see it as our job to stand up to the Aaron Sorkins of the world and demand that for you.  But we try---I try!---to keep our personal feelings out of this.

I swear to you that Ms Paulson's sexual orientation is absolutely of no interest to me.  If she and Ms Jones are involved in a consenting and mutually satisfying Sapphic relationship, I say God bless them.  It's their business and we should all just butt out of it.  Love is love and it's all we need and if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.  My friend was wrong to imply any prurient interest on my part, and he was even more wrong to imply that my judgment is clouded by thoughts of Ms Paulson and Ms Peet and a hot tub and baby oil and Ms Peet''s car breaking down on a cold winter night outside Ms Paulson's secluded house in the country where she lives alone except for the company of a handful of young, French maids all of whom...

...

...

What was my point?

Oh yes.  I'm sorry I had to start out on such a serious note.  But it was necessary.  And now that we have that out of the way, let's focus on this week's live-blogging.

If you remember, when we last saw them, Danny had just announced to Jordan that he was "coming for her" in tones more appropriate to John Wayne announcing he'll meet the bad guy on Main Street at high noon than for a no longer young man and recovering drug addict announcing he'd fallen hard for a much younger woman completely out of his league.

Meanwhile, Matt, apparently just to mess with Harriet's love life and screw up her movie deal, catches her backstage, backs her up into a wall, and, without even the benefit of mistletoe, smooches her until her toes curl.  Then he strolls off.  Sarah Paulson is left trying desperately to make Harriet look like Grace Kelly in To Catch a Thief just after Cary Grant kisses her in the hallway outside her hotel room, probably getting herself in character by imagining what it would have been like if Amanda Peet...

Um...

Nevermind...

Let's just get on with the live blogging...

9:58.  Heroes winding up.  "Nobody sees me!  I'm invisible!"  I've felt that way too.  I'm not always as angry about it.

9:59.  Did they save the cheerleader or not?

10:00  We're off.

10:01  Amanda Peet really is adorable with that bite of sandwich in her cheek.  Can somebody save her from Danny?

10:02.  Siren!  Quick.  What's Ray Milland doing on the TV behind Jordan?  Is that a Hitchcock movie?  Is there a comment on Studio 60 here?

(MA Peel comes through.  Jordan was watching Dial M for Murder.  What is Sorkin telling us about Danny then?)

10:04.  My God!  He is stalking her!  Is this what Sorkin means when he says he'll be going for more romantic comedy?

10:09.  The Ed Sullivan Show was reality TV?  Does anyone in the world of network suits seriously make that argument?

Jordan has Elvis and the Beatles at the forefront of her brain.  She's a male baby boomer's dream of a third wife, isn't she?

10:10.  Here we are at the Depressives Anonymous Support Group meeting.

10:11.  Sorry.  It's the writers room.

You know, comedy writers aren't all sweetness and light.  Many of them are miserable human beings.  Not you, Ken.  But there can't be many who have absolutely no sense of humor.  Matt Albie has an entire staff of humorless depressives and Sorkin doesn't seem to be treating this as a joke.

10:13. The ebay gag has promise.

An entire writing staff of chronic procrastinators strikes me as too realistic.

10:15.  How does Rudy Giuliani have time to do a character bit on Studio 60?  Really.  Doesn't that board member look like Rudy?  Imagine him in a blonde wig and an evening gown.

10:21.  What rachel says about Steven Weber.

10:22.  Macao again.  Ed Asner saying Macao is a sound that's going to haunt me to my grave.

10:26.  An organization that encourages people to have sex?  "We're in LA.  Should be able to throw a rock and hit one."  Good.  I'm buying a plane ticket to Los Angeles on travelocity later.

10:27.  Look!  Another pretty Gen Y-er who knows her Baby Boom icons and lore.  I love this show!

Is it clever, too clever by half, or just an accident that Jordan and Hallie have the exact same hair style?

10:31.  Can I just say something?  The way Sorkin has been underusing DL Hughley is criminal.

Can I say something else?  No way in the world will I ever start watching The Medium, but I think it's great that there's a hit show starring an actress who looks like an actual human being.

10:35.  Characters rehashing conversations we've heard them have has become something of a signature for Sorkin on Studio 60.  I would be ok with it if the rehashes weren't so much instant replays.

10:37.  More Danny and Matt.  Less...everybody else.

But Danny is stalking her.

10:38.  The Husky Gymnast sounds like something they'd really do on Saturday Night Live.  One of those bits they do over and over again that nobody understands why they do over and over again but which become fan favorites just because they're unfunny and nobody understands why they do them over and over again.

TOM IS BORING!!!!!!!!!

Why is the Brit Chick so wowed by his asking her out?

10:41.  Mac commercial.  I thought Apple fired the Mac guy?  Must be Accepted was a bigger hit than I thought.

By the way, I hope everyone noticed that during that scene between Sarah Paulson and Amanda Peet I did not mention French maids.

10:47.  I liked what Weber did with the speed-teaching himself Chinese.  I didn't like the sitcom resolution of the problem.  Oh you speak English!

The viola player is back.  That reminds me.  She was supposedly crazy for Tom too.  What is it about Tom that makes Sorkin think we'll think he's loaded with animal magentism?

It's that puppy dog quality isn't it?  Girls just go crazy for guys who remind them of puppy dogs.

10:53.  "Is this dinner with Harriet and Ava Gardner?"  Ok, Ava was something, but am I supposed to believe that the first sexy movie star who pops into the mind of a jealous 35 year old television writer who might actually date sexy movie stars is one who's been dead for 17 years?

This is something that's been driving me nuts since the beginning of Studio 60.  All the pop culture references would have been stale on a Bob Hope Christmas Special.

And how stale was that reference, Lance?

10:57.  Restraining orders are a regular feature of great romantic comedies.

Actually, both Danny and Matt have very strange ideas about how to win the love of a good woman.

11:02.  Ok, we're out of here, and what have we learned that we didn't already know?

Darius doesn't want to work with Simon.

And....?

Studio 60 has become the TV Drama equivalent of old Big 10 football.  A lot of standing around, then a big collision at the line of scrimmage, a cloud of dust, and when the refs pick the last player up out of the pile-up to find the ball, they discover that the home team has lost half a yard.

Fifty minutes and Sorkin managed to move the ball five yards down field.

But there's hope for next week!  Snakes on a Soundstage!

And maybe this new blonde clone of Jordan will be evil, pure evil.  The show needs some evil.  Steven Weber's character was supposed to be evil, pure evil, but he's turned out to be a force for goodness and niceness.  Which is fine by me.  But I still want to see some evil, pure evil.

I'm out of here, gang, but don't leave on my account.  Stick around.  Enjoy the sounds of the loons calling to each other across the lake.  There are marshmallows in the cabinet, Hershey bars too.  Someone run down to the 7-11 and get some Graham crackers and you can toast smores over the grill while the fire burns down.

Those of you coming in from the West Coast, leave you comments, but please.  Don't feed the bears.

Good night.  I'm off to talk to the blonde about French maid costumes.  I only hope she's not busy reading her copy of The 48 Laws of Power.

Comments

[Jennifer]

Oh dear God, Lance... you've followed Studio 60 and you've gone 'round the bend.

[Jim Tourtelott]

I watched the Christmas episode again just before Countdown, and my reaction to the big kiss and the stalker announcement was the same as it was a month ago--viz., if Sorkin courts the way he writes courtship I feel a great sympathy for Kristin Chenoweth. Matt was just a jackass. Danny is a guy you immediately get a restraining order on.

However, I did feel more kindly disposed to the New Orleans "O Holy Night" bit than last time, largely because those guys were really good. But it still annoys the hell out of me that Sorkin can't trust his actual audience to react the way he wants, and feels compelled to have his studio audience turn into a giant claque at the end. It's as cheap as the canned "Uh-ohs" on an episode of "My Little Margie" when Margie was about to put one over on Vern. (And by the way, Gale Storm ws a much more talented comic than Harriet is, and I never once had fantasies while watching "Oh Susanna" of her engaged in tribadism with ZaSu Pitts.)

[rachel]

does anyone care to guess what alias sorkin will be using tonight?

[Dylan]

The music in the last episode is the best example I can figure of what a thin line good and bad walks. If that music had sucked, it would have drowned the whole episode, but because it was great, the episode was heightened.

Sorkin did this a lot on TWW with varying results. I'm thinking of his great use (I'm pretty sure this is the first time I saw this used on television or film) of Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah during the death of Mark Harmon scene or the Massive Attack song during Zoe's kidnapping vs. the TERRIBLE use of the... oh crap, I can't think of the name of it now - it was the play about that the President and Leo went to in the same episode as the Mark Harmon shooting where he finally decides to kill Abdul Shareef... Anyway, it was bad.

[M.A. Peel]

Hey, Grace Kelly--I was one of 2 people out of 90 who put her best actress award for Country Girl on my top 5 best of the best actress list. But as they say, Sarah, you are noooo Grace Kelly--

[Dylan]

Incidentally, per the previews for this week's episode, we now have this series', "I really am quite something" sighting. One of the many recycled bits from the other two Sorkin series.

[Michael]

...and Ms Peet''s car breaking down on a cold winter night outside Ms Paulson's secluded house in the country where she lives alone except for the company of a handful of young, French maids all of whom...really wish Ms. Paulson would let them go, seeing as how they are neither French nor maids. The tragic fact that Ms. Paulson's attempts at comedy go horribly wrong even in real life is not lost upon the 3 U Wisconsin co-eds as they try to nurture what little mirth they can draw from each other's ill-fitting french maid costumes.

[Jaquandor]

Remember the kid in high school whose attempts to talk to girls made everyone wince with empathy and horror? The first scene of tonight's episode is like that.

[M.A. Peel]

Dial M. for Murder on Christmas EVe-Lance, you are channeling Grace

[Dylan]

"At least I'm back on television..."

That's kind of genius.

[rachel]

ignoring the overall mixed reviews (or mostly bad reviews) that the show gets, steven weber has been solid so far and definitely should have gotten some love from the golden globes. my only concern is if the show truly becomes a romantic comedy he will get even less screen time and therefore his chances in an emmy nom (which he deservces) would greatly diminish

[lauren]

well, atleast we now know what book sorkin read over his holiday vacation

[Ken Houghton]

I tried, in the midst of today's posting, to find the comment (not from you, clearly) where someone said that SP being a lesbian did skew their acceptance of her character.

Then I realised I couldn't do Righteous Indignation—and especially not in the midst of a tongue-in-cheek rant and gave up.

Glad to know who Cherry Jones is, though.

Has anything not driving by plot happened yet?

[James Wolcott]

"Moron" really isn't a witty adult putdown. And I don't believe it'd be flung at a board meeting--twice.

[Dylan]

"I think now's probably a good time for a break..."

Meanwhile, somewhere in LA, Aaron Sorkin is silently taking a look around to room to see if anyone noticed how good a writer he is while simultaneously giving himself a mental high five because of how good a writer he is.

[M.A. Peel]

Well, Sorkin's boardroom drama isn't yet up to Wise's Executive Suite status. Calling William Holden, Fredric March . . . .

[Jaquandor]

Boy! What a good thing that handy Arts & Leisure section was sitting there, eh? Otherwise that scene would have been like this:

"What do we do?"
"I dunno."
"Seriously."
"I am serious. I dunno."
"That can't be your only answer."
"And yet it is."
"Oh my God we're screwed."
"Yup."

[marjo]

I'm bored. Please write more funny commentary about Studio Stupid. It's more fun than actually watching this show.

[Ken Houghton]

"an air of unpredictability"? I thought you just pick a worst-case scenario, double it, and wait for Jordan to top it.

[Ken Houghton]

Steve Weber gets romance with this? I miss Wings Storm of the Century.

[M.A. Peel]

So Danny has already been cured of his obsession? And has no working role on the show so far. Very strange plotting.

[Jim Tourtelott]

"Another pretty girl at the dance"? They wrote better dialogue than that forty years ago on The Edge of Night.

[M.A. Peel]

Thank goodness--Danny is still wacko

[Dan Coyle]

10:37: Simon got PWNED!

[Ken Houghton]

polyandrous?

Hey! I was watching The Edge of Night forty years ago! It was snappy, it moved, and it knew camera angles that were GOOD for the performers.

"My work here is done" would not have come from Adam's mouth.

[Reginanotjack]

Matt Perry is making some flat bits o' dialogue sing and stupid premises work, I think. But this isn't holding together at all and I'll declare Sorkin a genius if he can pull any of it together by the time the news comes on.

[Dylan]

Ok... the "field niggers" bit is edgy and has a glimmer of being a decent storyline, but it COMPLETELY clashes with ANYTHING else Sorkin has done in this show previously which, subsequently, makes it very, very questionable.

[marjo]

is everyone on this show going to be paired off? because, so far, there's no chemistry, and that's only going to spread it thinner.

[marjo]

this show seems to be an ensemble of potentially interesting characters potentially acting well together, but nothing imo actually gels. it feels like they are all in separate rooms spouting lines but no real feelings.

[Jim Tourtelott]

"My work here is done" would not have come from Adam's mouth,

True, but I'm pretty sure it came out of Josh Lyman's at least once. And that C.J. Craig described somebody as "easily distracted by shiny objects."

[rachel]

Is it bad that now every time Darius is on screen all I can think about is him randomly starting to break dance and step (from the movie Stomp the Yard, which, granted, I didn't actually see, but he is the main character in, and yes, it's about stepping).

[Tom W.]

This episode is soooo Murphy Brown.

[Ken Houghton]

Ah, that's what they mean by Romantic Comedy. Tom in a triangle with a Brit and an Asian waif.

[marjo]

oh, it's time for the liberal theme of the night: abstinence education sucks. 52 minutes into the show... aren't we running late? or did the censorship bit count? or was it the race angle?

[Ken Houghton]

Good thing no one has, like, a show to put up on Friday.

Jordan calling someone else "unprofessional"; new levels of Alanisirony. Can't she fire him?

[M.A. Peel]

The incidental music is awful-- so dated and "old" sounding. Hate that piano motif they've got going

[Dylan]

I dunno, man... It wasn't the bang up job that I think they needed for the episode when most people were saying, "Oh this? I thought they cancelled this."

But I sometimes wonder if I judge this show a little too harshly because of how much I like Sorkin. Like, if this was the new show on The WB I'd be really impressed.

[Brookylnite]

All the pop culture references would have been stale on a Bob Hope Christmas Special.

Your wish has been heard and your wish has been granted. Next week .... Snakes On a Plane!

[rachel]

i feel so unsatisfied...

[rachel]

i feel so unsatisfied...

[marjo]

hey, Rich Little would fit in so well on this show.

[James Wolcott]

Simultaneous-translation conversations have a certain built-in irritation factor.

Did anything happen in this episode? It seemed like a lot of talky dogpaddling.

[Jim Tourtelott]

Oh, and among liberal messages, you forgot "Reality tv is bad."

Anybody want to bet that the new fake-Machiavellian blonde's downfall will involve something like the Celebrity Big Brother contretemps that's been all the news in England this week?

[Reginanotjack]

Bleecch. Perry has near-magic chemistry with a lot of the cast, including the Roz Russellish asst. (in the spirit of ancient cultural references) but none with Paulson, who has no chemistry with anyone.

[Aaron Adams]

Despite potential firing of the Chairman of the Board and the CEO of NBS, the New Year in Studio 60 finds various forms of love confounding at least four of the main characters.

So what did you do in the war, Daddy?

[John]

Logging in from the west coast . . .

"Moron" was completely unbelievable, and that Ed Asner would back Weber up was only acceptable because it followed Sorkin's Law of Bad Ass-itude.

Danny is creepy! Send him back to drugs.

Oh -- and the evasion of the pro-sex organization -- it's kind of funny, but in an age of evasions it's disappointing. The donation you want to make is to PLANNED PARENTHOOD, Matt. PLANNED PARENTHOOD.

Dolphin Girl is embarrassing.

Fruit of the Loom could have been funny. If a comic writer were writing it.

[Jim 7]

Mark McKinney. DL. Could they please have something to DO? Maybe they could be, oh, I don't know...funny? I know that I've seen them be funny other places.

[Elayne Riggs]

Wow. Possible for any of the main characters to act older than five years old next week, please?

[Ralph Hitchens]

Objection, your honor -- I think it was a fair to middlin' episode in the Sorkin canon (poor choice of cultural references noted). Bad as many of you think this show is, it's still better than most of what's on network TV.

I said "most."

[Dan Coyle]

You know, it's saying something when I feel I'd rather watch Jack Rudolph, Intrepid Studio Executive more than anything else.

God bless you, Steven Weber!