Every time I think I'm out, they keep pulling me back in!
CJ Colluci and MoXmas are leading a delegation demanding I expand upon something I wrote yesterday in Sexual Politics, sexual jealousy, fiction vs. analysis, and the novel I should be writing:
Once upon a time, I drove one of my writing classes into fits because I insisted that people do indeed fall into types, that all of us are to a great degee typical. I went on to say that there are in fact a very limited number of human types and I made a list that didn't come close to filling one side of the blackboard.
CJ and Mo and a few others want me to post the list.
This is something I'm reluctant to get into.
For one thing, to do it right, I need to dig out my old lecture notes and, even if I knew which box in the garage or the basement they were packed away in, that's a memory vault I'm not sure I want to visit. It's dark, it's creepy, it's full of bats and spiders, there are at least three evil trolls guarding the door, and God knows what skeletons lay entombed inside.
And for another, I'm worried it might provoke me into writing the book I should have written 15 years ago, except that now I'd write it online in an endless series of long posts that would drive away all but my most loyal readers---Hi, Mom!---and which Atrios, Wolcott, Shakes, and Avedon Carol would never link to in a million years.
Maud Newton might link, but she'd be doing it out of pity, and who needs a pity link?
But then CJ, Mo, and the others are among my most loyal readers and their loyalty ought to be repaid.
Still, there's the problem of getting started. Probably I should just post my list and wait for the angry objections to pour in.
Lance, you blithering fool, those aren't types, they're cliches!
Mannion, you horse's ass, don't you know the difference between a character type and a personality disorder?
Son, I love you, but even a mother can stand only so much tedious pedantry.
So it seems to me that before I got started I would need to define my terms, at least differentiating between temperament and type.
Then I'd need to explain how while a character may be a type, a type isn't a character.
I think I'll start there, because it'll let me write about something I love.
The main characters on Cheers included three variations of the same type. I'm not sure what to call the type.
The pedant?
The know-it-all?
The pompous windbag?
Diane, Frasier, and Cliff.
All of a type, but very different characters.
The three of them approached life at second-hand, through things they'd read. None of them could resist the temptation to show off their store of knowledge, and they each did it to establish their superiority over others.
But they had very different temperaments, backgrounds, and educations, and the differences caused extreme variations within their type.
Diane and Cliff were both damaged goods. They were insecure, sexually conflicted---Diane thought her romantic and erotic life should be driven by her mind and her body's attraction to Sam confused the hell out of her and was a blow to her vanity besides; she never got over resenting Sam for making her want what she thought she should have been too good to want. Cliff, of course, had serious Mommy problems.---and they were both egocentric and expected the world to revolve around them.
Frasier, because of his education and training as a doctor and psychiatrist, was more inclined to listen to other people and also step outside himself and see himself as others did.
Sam (advising Frasier on how to get out of the trouble he's in with Lilith): Listen, I know what you'd tell me in a situation like this. First you'd say a lot of gobbledy-gook no one could understand, but then you'd get me to go back there and face the music, admit the truth.
Frasier: You're right, Sam. Confronting one's fears is one of the five ways to resolve an inner conflict. Of course the other four being...(Stops himself dead.) God, aren't I a pompous ass!
He had more of sense of humor about himself and more self-awareness. Temperamentally, too, he was more outgoing and affectionate. Diane and Cliff wanted to be loved and admired. Fraiser wanted to love and admire others and he succeeded. It's why he was able to become one of the gang, while Diane had to stay on the outside. He could enter into their games, often despite his better instincts.
Frasier: Now what mindless subect are you beating to a slow, lingering death? What's the best car?
Norm: What's the best car song.
Frasier (like a shot): GTO! You hear them lyrics, boy, you're buring rubber!
His generosity of spirit, his temperament, is what made him not another second banana, but the second male lead, one of the show's three heroes, Woody being the third, although Woody wasn't a male lead, he was the juvenile, the young lover. Diane was the antagonist. Cliff was one of clowns.
Don't get me started on the differences between types and archetypes.
Cheers also repeated the type of the dimwitted innocent. Coach was replaced by Woody. Same type, very different temperaments and consequently very different characters.
So, temperament is our inner weather, the inchoate core of our personality, the "self" that nature and nurture conspired to curse or bless us with. Type is the outward manifestation of temperament, the face we present to the world, and it's shaped by temperament but also by expectation and choice. Temperament is feeling, type is behavior.
People of different temperaments can wind up as similar types, and people of similar temperaments will turn into different types.
Some people are resenters. They feel slighted by everybody and everything. This is basically a very egocentric personality. People like this just know in their bones that the world ought to be paying them more attention, recognizing their merits, and applauding their every effort, but for some really unfair reason this isn't happening.
Everywhere they go they find themselves pushed into the wings when they ought to be front and center, and it's always because the teacher, the coach, mother, friends, editors, bosses, or blog readers are inexplicably drawn to someone far less deserving!
We all know this kind of person. But I don't consider this a type, because this kind of person shows up as a lot of different types.
My favorite is the Self-righteous Wet Blanket.
We all know this type. The type who can always be relied upon to spoil the fun by pointing out that there are children starving in Africa.
When a conversation is getting lively, people are having a really good time, joking around or being passionate about something that matters to them, the Self-righteous Wet Blanket will always pipe up to point out that whatever it is doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.
How can you waste all your time arguing about baseball when Bush is shredding the Constitution!
The object, of course, isn't really to make people be more serious. It's to give the Wet Blanket control of the conversation.
This type is similar to the Little Red Hen who can always be counted on to bustle in when others are goofing off, or doing things that the Little Red Hen thinks aren't the things that need to be done at the moment, and make everybody else feel guilty and ashamed by the example of the Little Red Hen's energy, diligence, and responsible nature.
Some Little Red Hens are resentful personalities and they have the same object as the Self-Righteous Wet Blankets, to make themselves the center of attention and admiration.
But many Little Red Hens are in fact energetic, diligent, and responsible...and compulsive.
And, by the way, don't let the gender implications fool you. There are plenty of men who are Little Red Hens.
Resentful personalities can also turn out to be Rebels. They say they want a revolution, and they all want to change the world. But when you look closely you see that the new world they want to create will have themselves as princes and princesses, if not kings and queens.
Other types that resentful personalities can become are the Instigator---this is the type who is always egging others on to challenge authority, act up, and rebel, while lingering safely in the background, out of range when the shit hits the fan---and the Underminer. Underminers divide into other types: the Saboteur, the Foot Dragger, the Naysayer, and the Obstacle Builder.
You know who I'm talking about, right? They work in your office? They live in your dorm?
Ok. I'm sure you get the picture. That's enough for now. Tonight, if I feel brave, I'll go down into the memory vault and see what I can unearth.
Meanwhile, I could use some help here.
What are some types you know and love...or loathe?
"even if I knew which box in the garage or the basement they were packed away in, that's a memory vault I'm not sure I want to visit. It's dark, it's creepy, it's full of bats and spiders, there are at least three evil trolls guarding the door, and God knows what skeletons lay entombed inside."
Set yourself freeeeeeee, Lance! Go down and be the master of your memory vault!
Posted by: Jennifer | Tuesday, September 19, 2006 at 10:43 AM
Of course, you ask a question at the end of your post and my mind goes blank. I can't think of one single type I love. Not one! But, maybe it's because all the types you list above are negative types. Most of the people I love fall into those types -- but, I can't say I love the "type" in and of itself.
I do have to say that the reason I started blogging was because I was afraid I was becoming a combination of the Self-righteous Wet Blanket and the Little Red Hen.
I was afraid I was becoming that way because my friends starting calling me "Debbie The Downer" -- that character from SNL.
Who cares about football ... anyone want to discuss the Holocaust?
You don't like Clinton because he cheated on his wife? Oh yeah? Don't you know about Newt Gingrich, for God's sake?!
Blogging's gotten that (sort of) out of my system. So, I'm grateful for that. And so are my family and friends, I'm sure!
I love the exchange you posted between Sam and Frazier...
First you'd say a lot of gobbledy-gook no one could understand...
I can just see and hear Sam saying that.
What a great show.
Posted by: blue girl | Tuesday, September 19, 2006 at 11:29 AM
Why do I now picture you wearing a turban and offering us insight not only into ourselves, but into our futures??? Perhaps a late night, Lance hot-line will be in your future!
Posted by: Jennifer | Tuesday, September 19, 2006 at 11:31 AM
Dear Frasier...I mean Lance,
Great post! And good choice using the Cheeers characters as examples describing your human types. They're classics.
Posted by: Rosy | Tuesday, September 19, 2006 at 11:35 AM
I have nothing to add except to say you should write more posts about this and more posts about Cheers. What a great blog you've got.
And more posts about Taxi! Taxi!!!
Posted by: Dave G | Tuesday, September 19, 2006 at 12:14 PM
Damn. Good stuff. Stuck a pin right through the Self-Righteous Wet Blanket and mounted him/her with a neat little label next to the pin.
Posted by: KathyR | Tuesday, September 19, 2006 at 12:44 PM
Great post. I liked the first post but couldn't think of anything to comment on specifically... this one makes me think of why I loved the Miss Marple mysteries. Her conclusions were always based on people types.
Posted by: Claire | Tuesday, September 19, 2006 at 01:04 PM
More posts using Cheers characters as examples of types would be terrific. And a question: Do you consider Lilith a variation on the pedant/showoff/knowitall type or a different type altogether?
Posted by: Chris Galdieri | Tuesday, September 19, 2006 at 01:11 PM
"this one makes me think of why I loved the Miss Marple mysteries. Her conclusions were always based on people types." You know, Claire, if Lance weren't such a devotee of the Cheers gang, there is a wonderful post to be authored on the difference between the good Little Red Hen Miss Marple and that sanctimonious steal the punchbowl bag of wind, Jessica Fletcher.
Posted by: Exiled in New Jersey | Tuesday, September 19, 2006 at 01:15 PM
"How can you waste all your time arguing about baseball when Bush is shredding the Constitution!"
Funny you say that.
Posted by: Linkmeister | Tuesday, September 19, 2006 at 03:08 PM
Mr Mannion, what are the differences between types and archetypes?
Just kidding. You've done enough work for today. Good stuff.
This is why I could never write fiction: I sure as hell could never keep track of all the stuff in writing (like recognizing a type and its uses) that helps you get the mess of life down on paper in an understandable form.
Posted by: Kevin Wolf | Tuesday, September 19, 2006 at 03:27 PM
Wheee!
Cool, this is the kind of Customer Service I wish I could convince most of my clients to provide.
Posted by: MoXmas | Tuesday, September 19, 2006 at 03:47 PM
How about the incorrigible flirt, you know, who has a quasi-sexualized relationship with everyone? Particularly the female of the species, whose symptoms tend to include persistent, subtle meanness toward other girls/women. Does that count as a type or a temperament?
Posted by: L. | Tuesday, September 19, 2006 at 05:16 PM
Great post. But you did ask a question, so I'll mention a couple of types that come to mind. I'll be curious to see how you classify, or reclassify them.
The Sharer is one of my favorite types. It can also be one of my least favorite. And again, the divide comes from temperament. The Sharer loves to pass on his or her favorite things - movies, TV shows, bloggers, musicians, restaurants, you name it. Any blogger who posts a lot of links (like me in my LiveJournal, admittedly) is something of a Sharer.
Good Sharers share because they want other people to experience the same joy or enlightenment they got from the thing being shared. If you like it, wonderful! If you don't, that's cool too. Bad Sharers are out to prove how impeccable their taste is. They're the ones who tell you your life simply isn't complete until you've read book X, or that there can't possibly be any argument that restaurant Y makes the best hot-and-sour soup in town. Bad Sharers have trouble grasping the concept of "a matter of taste."
My least favorite type of all? That's easy - the Bully. Anyone who tries to stifle dissent or disagreement through intimidation, anyone who practices any form of abuse (physical, verbal, emotional) immediately gets on my bad side. For many Bullies, perhaps most, it's an expression of insecurity, a realization that they can't win a fair argument. These Bullies are an extreme form of resenter. For a smaller, less pleasant group, it's the sheer enjoyment of the accumulation and exercise of power.
Posted by: Mark Bernstein | Tuesday, September 19, 2006 at 05:34 PM
You know, this is all fun and wonderfull, but don't you know that there are albino, hermaphrodidic midgets with leprosy suffering, umm, somewhere right now?
Posted by: DuWayne | Tuesday, September 19, 2006 at 05:51 PM
Oh, boy! This is fun! It's suppertime so I can't respond at length right now. I'll be back. But one quick reply.
L.: How about the incorrigible flirt...Does that count as a type or a temperament?
L, I know the type. Ba-da-bing. Actually, I think there are types of flirts, not all of them driven by flirtatious temperaments. You've got your Southern Belle (who isn't necessarily Southern or a woman), your Vamp, your Femme Fatale (again not necessarily une femme), your Class Sweetheart, and your Daddy's Good Little Girl (see above). There are probably more.
Posted by: Lance | Tuesday, September 19, 2006 at 07:07 PM
I love you, Lance Mannion -- great post (Call me The Easy Lover).
As I mentioned on Linkmeister's post, I think that Blue Girl, with her constant provocations and ironic little commentaries, deserves a type of her own: The Troublemaker. Wherever she goes, mischief is sure to follow.
Posted by: Matt | Wednesday, September 20, 2006 at 01:04 AM
How about the Bundle of Nerves? (the Nervous Nellie, the Nervous Wreck, the Worry Wort...) In drama, they're intense, but prone to insecurity and maybe a little neurotic. They're biggest fault seems to be vulnerability to cowardice, but it's not that they lack bravery, they just think too damn much. And in comedy, they're hilarious.
If he worked on the Enterprise, he'd be Ensign Barkley. If he was a Winnie-the-Pooh character, he'd be Rabbit. They can be brilliant and heroic, like Willow Rosenberg. Or venal but decent, like Ensign Pulver. Or weasly and stupid, like Frank Burns.
They're Aunt Aunt Pittypat from Gone With the Wind. Or Barney Fife from Mayberry. Or, to bring it back to the Cheers universe, Niles Crane.
This is a favorite of mine because coincidentally (or maybe not so coincidentally) many of the people I work with can be described this way.
Posted by: SV | Wednesday, September 20, 2006 at 01:37 AM
SV -- Your "Bundle of Nerves" example finally connected the dots about why this conversation was sounding so familiar. Matt Groening was pretty good at the "types of"... teachers, fellow students, etc., in his Life is Hell series. Here he is on matter so the heart, though regrettably sans drawings.
The 9 Types of Boyfriends
Joe Sensitive
"After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, OK?"
Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling, Soft-boiled Egg, Snugglepup
Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts
Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy
Old Man Grumpus
"People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV."
Also known as: Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-mud, Old Fogey, Slow Mover, Jerk
Advantages: Stays put; predictable
Disadvantages: Royal pain in the ass
Flinchy
"I--I'm sorry for whatever it was I did."
Also known as: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you
Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled
Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle
Bigfoot
"Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin'."
Also known as: Chunk-style, Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, the Hulk, Big 'n' Dumb
Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled
Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig
Lazybones
"Zzzzzz"
Also known as: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Bum, Sponge, Snoozebucket, Drug Addict
Advantages: Well rested; easy target
Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfull your dreams
The Sneak
"Who, me?"
Also known as: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, G-D Son of a Bitch
Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt
Disadvantages: May be having time of his life
Ace of Hearts
"After I wash the dishes let's make love like crazed weasels, OK?"
Also known as: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova, Monster
Advantages: Perpetually aroused
Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused
The Dreamer
"Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how, but--"
Also known as: Struggling Artist, Philosopher, Buffoon, Bag of Wind
Advantages: Tells good stories
Disadvantages: Will turn into "Old Man Grumpus"
Mr. Right
"While the servants wash the dishes, let's make love like crazed weasels in my new yacht, ok?"
Also known as: Mr. Perfect, Jim Dandy
Advantages: Answer to a woman's prayer
Disadvantages: Hunted to extinction
The 9 Types of Girlfriends
Ms. Nice Guy
"Tickets to the boxing match? Oh, darling, you shouldn't have!"
Also known as: Whattagal, Precious, one of the boys, My Main Squeeze, Doormat
Advantages: Cheerful, agreeable, kindly
Disadvantages: May wise up someday
Old Yeller
"You G-D spineless good-for-nothing drag-ass no-talent son of a bitch! Can't you see you're making me miserable??"
Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from Hell
Advantages: Pays attention to you
Disadvantages: Screeches, throws frying pans
Sickly
"Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite."
Also known as: Whiner, Mewler, Grumpy
Advantages: Predictable
Disadvantages: Contagious
The Bosser
"Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look."
Also known as: Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and Chain, Yes Mom
Advantages: Often right
Disadvantages: Often right, but so what?
Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied
"I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, and hair color?"
Also known as: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw C'mon Honey
Advantages: Easily soothed
Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed
Wild Woman out of Control
"I've got an idea. Lez get drunk an' make love onna front lawn. I done it before. S'fun."
Also known as: Fast Girl, Freewheeler, Goodtime Charleena, Passed Out
Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys
Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs
Huffy
"I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at."
Also known as: No Fun, Humorless Prig, Cold fish, Chilly Proposition, Iceberg, Snarly
Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you
Disadvantages: You will have no friends
Woman from Mars
"I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship."
Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic
Advantages: Entertaining, unfathomable
Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud
Ms. Dreamgirl
"I am utterly content with you just the way you are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I think we must make love like crazed weasels now!"
Also known as: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, Gorgeous
Advantages: Funny, intelligent, uninhibited
Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posted by: vevlet goldmine | Wednesday, September 20, 2006 at 01:19 PM
I've always liked the Red Nosed Clown (more of a theatre type but they do also exist in real life) Think Harpo Marx or Kramer from Seinfeld.
Posted by: Fledermaus | Wednesday, September 20, 2006 at 05:46 PM
congratulations and kudos for another excellent post, lance!
works like this is one reason i come to this site every day and am rarely disappointed.
and velvet/vevlet goldmine, lol about the types of paramours. that's one of the funniest things i've read in a long time.
Posted by: harry near indy | Wednesday, September 20, 2006 at 06:17 PM
Harry, thanks for the catch on my username. OK, so sometimes I like to get a little high while I surf the net and go over the kids' homework. Is that so wrong?
Anyway, as to the Groening list, it is funny, albeit in an excruciatingly uncomfortable way. I recognize myself in all nine of the dames and a few of the gents. I wonder if that's because women can be somewhat changeable for reasons that are...cyclical, if you know what I mean, or if I'm just Sybil 2006. Or if it's the drugs.
Posted by: velvet goldmine | Wednesday, September 20, 2006 at 10:00 PM
My wife came up with one of my favorite types we can both confirm based upon years of working in restaurants whilst going to school: The Food Corp Exec. I suppose in other fields this type would be your standard ideal bureaucrat. Typically one of the lowest on the totem in restaurant hierarchy, the Food Corp Exec imagines the strict adherence to policies of no more than 3 oz. on guacamole sides or 6 oz. on a side of fries leads to quick ascension to Vice President of Employee Excellence. You know you've met a food corp exec every time your refused that third packet of ketchup, unless you got a quarter.
Another of my favorite comes from a This American Life when Ira Glass talks about Modern Jackass, the fictitious name of a magazine for all of us who pontificate on things we know little about. Every time someone says something about free radicals, Laffer curves, or dream interpretation I think he, she, or I is a Modern Jackass.
Posted by: esposito | Wednesday, September 20, 2006 at 11:11 PM
The Food Corp. Exec may also be known as "The Betty." Anyone who has ever worked with a "Betty" will understand why these may be the same type.
As for the magazine, I believe we all, more often than we'd care to admit, make a contribution to this publication.
Posted by: mac macgillicuddy | Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 10:19 AM
I resent the use of my name to describe some sort of derogative. Not that I see making myself a more valuable employee as a negative. Like following the rules is a crime or something. We'll just see who makes assistant manager to the executive assistant manager of the second string manager of the night shift, at the liposuction shack first!!!
Posted by: Betty | Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 10:34 AM
Velvet Goldmine - Yeah, I see me in many of those depending on my mood. Unfotunately I have no similar excuse to yours, at least not biological. Now as for flying the fragrant winds, that - oh, crap, I don't have that any more either - hmmm, maybe that's the problem.
Posted by: DuWayne | Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 10:39 AM
The Grudge Holder
- remembers every slight, every unfair event and nurses them, warms them, keeps them ready and waiting for redress....even years later....
Posted by: Brave Captain of Industry | Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 02:45 PM
Brave Cap'n -- I think it was Lorne Michaels who referred to that type as an "injustice collector," which I think is just great.
I've noticed that the smaller the job, the smaller the actions needed to make mighty grudges.
Well, that's not very pithy, but i.e., the petty stuff makes an impact more quickly when you find yourself trapped in a crap adminstrative or retail job, or stuck in a sequestered life without inner resorces. Hence, "The Betty" and "The Grudge Holder" are spiritual siblings.
Posted by: velvet goldmine | Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 04:22 PM
Sorry, but I just saw this and since it brought to mind both this thread on personality types and Lance's inexplicable admiration of Angelina Jolie, I thought I'd add one more cut-and-paste rather than add an original thought:
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[Defamer.com]
Posted by: velvet goldmine | Friday, September 22, 2006 at 12:31 PM
I'm okay with 'typing' people, as long as you allow for two things, by way of generosity: a) people become whatever type they are through hundreds of encounters, growing up, bouncing off parents and other children, and their 'types' come out of the roles that circumstances choose for them in all these personal encounters. Which leads to b) I think people have within them all possible roles, they've just become conditioned and comfortable (or trapped) in their little specialties.
I was reading your take on how Frasier is a know-it-all who looks at himself with a sense of humor. That's me, I'd like to think. But, if I am, I can certainly remember when I was humorless about it. I happened to have some friends who were merciless with me about it. I went to a baseball game one night with two of them, and our back-and-forth was going very badly on my end as we arrived at the park. As I contemplated the next three hours of acute discomfort, out of almost a wild sense of desperation I put on an air of breeziness, and laughed off whatever had just gotten said. I distinctly remember that inside I was NOT feeling the good sport, I was just thinking, 'screw them, I'll put on this mask and get through the evening.' But the way they let up on me, and the way things immediately lightened, well, damn, I had an epiphany or something.
I'll never lose all my touchy pedantry, but things are much different since. And I dunno if I can ever say for sure that it wasn't pure luck, the way it happened.
Posted by: fourmorewars | Friday, September 22, 2006 at 07:38 PM
Sorry, none of this is new. Many books have been written about using archetypes in fiction. (I have sat through such a workshop by one writer.) Many writers swear by the technique. Other writers simply use enneagrams. And other writers unconsciously use archetypes but would never admit it.
So if your writing class went into fits they are probably all still not making any money writing.
Posted by: KathyF | Tuesday, September 26, 2006 at 06:13 AM