"Would you prefer blogging or non-blogging?"

The plan for last night was to go to the drive-in to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2.  That's what I thought the plan was, anyway.  But Mother and Father Blonde are down here on a visit and, offering to watch the guys, inisted that the blonde and I go out for an evening alone together.

The blonde liked this idea. She says it's something married couples are supposed to do once in a while.  She says we used to do it regularly ourselves.

"We did?" I asked.

"At least twice a month."

"Did I enjoy it?"

The question annoyed her for some reason.

"Yes, you enjoyed it!"

"As much as I'd enjoy Pirates of the Caribbean?"

Almost wound up spending an evening alone alone with a blanket on a chair on the front porch.

Fortunately, the brand-new teenager is a romantic and he stepped in to smooth things over and push us out the door before I could make things worse.

So off we went, poking around town, with no particular destination, thinking we might get something to eat.

We tried here first, because it's relatively new and we'd never been there before.  But while it seemed like a good place to sit and watch the Red Sox game, sitting and watching the Red Sox wasn't the blonde's idea of a hot time on the town.

We moved on to here, where the overwhelmed hostess, half-crying and half-laughing, told us that they'd been hopping all night, no let up and none in sight, she was going out of her mind and we were out of our minds if we thought we were getting in without having booked a table for tonight yesterday.

So we moved on again, and if the Red Nun was too casual, and the Impudent Oyster too popular, then Christian's was just right.

We were given a table upstairs in an alcove with a window overlooking the street.  It was as romantic a setting as the teenager could have wished for his parents.  And at one point I looked across the candlelit table, stared deep into the blonde's big blue eyes, and I was overcome.  I couldn't help myself.  I was carried away by the moment.

"Blonde," I said softly and meaningfully, "Those Republicans sure are crazy, aren't they?"

And I was off.

Blabbed on nonstop for half an hour, covering all the usual topics, essentially blogging without a keyboard.  Couldn't help myself.  It was embarrassing.  I don't like it when I do this. I started this blog in the hope that having a daily rant on the internet would take away my desire to rant in real life.

Hasn't worked that way.

Eventually it was time to go and I had to shut up.  But as we left our table and emerged from the alcove a woman at the table just around the corner from ours stopped me.

"Was that you talking about what the Democrats should do?" she asked.

I was mortified.

I had tried to keep my voice down and had counted on the piano drowning me out, but she was sitting too close to escape.  I began to apologize, saying I hoped I hadn't ruined her meal raving on and on like that.

"Nonsense," she said, "I was agreeing with everything you said.  Right on!"

She really said right on.

I still felt like a fool.  I said so.  "People don't want some loudmouth bloviating all through their dinner," I said.  "I should keep my yap shut."

"Oh don't worry," she said, "After all, this is a Blue State, isn't it?"

"The bluest," I said.

She begged to differ on that one.

"I'm from California," she said.

"That's pretty blue," I said.  "But there're no Orange Counties in Massachusetts."

I had her there.  "That's true.  Orange County is pretty bad."

I agreed and was about to say something about Schwartzenegger and maybe ask her how she thought it was that the three bluest states, California, Massachusetts, and New York, all had Republican governors.  But suddenly she gave a sharp cry of pain and began rubbing her shin and glaring across the table at her male dinner companion, who was trying to look innocent, and my collar got suddenly very tight around my neck as the blonde grabbed it from behind and began dragging me out of there.

Learned my lesson there.  From now on I confine my blogging to the keyboard.

On the way out the blonde had to powder her nose so I was left alone downstairs with my thoughts.  I would have sunk deep into a gloom of remorse and self-recrimination but the TV happened to be on.

The A's and the Sox were tied at three in the bottom of the seventh with Jason Varitek coming to the plate.

I'm just no good on these romantic nights out.
_________________________________________

I didn't monopolize the conversation completely during dinner.  The blonde told me about the book she's reading, A Death in Belmont by Sebastian Junger.  She says it's very good, compelling, and creepy.  She got carried away too and she offered to do something she has never offered to do before---write something for Lance Mannion.  She asked me if I'd like her to write a review to post.

I said I sure would!  But she began to back-pedal immediately.  Your readers don't care what I have to say about a book, she demured.

Ok, readers, let her know she's all wet on that one.

Comments

[Jennifer]

I'm reading "A Death in Belmont" as well! She's right, it is good and compelling and creepy. Tell her to write away!

As for you learning your lesson??? Why do I think that lesson is short-lived? :)

Wow, a romantic dinner with discussions about Republicans and murder... oh well, I suppose any conversation that gets the adrenaline pumping is good for romance.

[mac macgillicuddy]

I, for one, don't care. But that doesn't mean I think she shouldn't write it, or that you shouldn't post it.

[Claire]

One, that's hilarious Lance.

Two, Blonde (if you don't mind me calling you that, it seems a bit familiar), please review it! I'd love to hear from you!

[velvet goldmine]

Wouldn't it be easier to just start calling her Alice?

[Bill Altreuter]

We won't have a Republican governor for much longer. And while I'm on the subject, in my freelance writer capacity last week I interviewed Louise Slaughter, the Ranking Member of the House Rules Committee. If the Democrats take the House this November she is in line to be, arguably, the most influential member of the House maybe ever. I'm here to tell you that there are still real deal good government liberal out there, and Slaughter is one of them. (She actually said to us, "I want my country back." I almost cried.)

[Mudge]

While she's at it, have her tell her side of the romantic dinner. We need some perspective at this here site.

And why am I hungry..although you gave no, zero, nada, nil, nichts, info on the quality of the food.

We always expect the total experience from Mannion.

[Shakespeare's Sister]

She really said right on.

Hey! I say right on! Harrumph.

Your readers don't care what I have to say about a book, she demured.

Yes we do. Right on.

[Jennifer]

"And why am I hungry..although you gave no, zero, nada, nil, nichts, info on the quality of the food."

They probably didn't eat. I'm guessing Lance's romantic Republican dissection was food for the soul!

[velvet goldmine]

Oh, yeah: While you're there, could you right a terrible wrong? When we were on the Cape last fall for (our) 8-year-old's birthday, he wanted a birthday pie rather than cake. No problem, we thought -- we'll go to Marion's Pie Shop. Where better?

We'd thought to make sure it was still open in October, but not to check on which days it was open. His bday happened to fall on the day it was closed, so we sadly slunk off, on what turned out to be an epic pie quest in the rain. (At last we found a raspberry-peach one at a Wellfleet general store.)

Anyway, you surely will, or have, already this summer, but go to Marion's for us?

[Rana]

Please write the review! ;)

[Rana]

On the blogging or non-blogging thing...

I too thought that blogging would spare D. a few rants. It has... but that doesn't mean I don't come up with more.

What I find oddest about blogs and being in public is _talking_ about them -- since I'm pseudonymous, it always makes me feel like I'm in some spy flick when I raise the issue, like someone might overhear and figure out who I am (yes, I am overly self-centric -- why else would I blog?). It also creeps me out when people (like D's relatives or mine) mention the existence of my blog, even though they're unlike to locate it.

It's like blogging isn't part of the normal world, so it's weird when it intrudes.

[Lance]

Mudge,

You are right! A serious lapse. I had the Ghost and Mr Chicken off the regular menu. It was very good. The blonde had one of the specials, Scallops Dijonaisse, which was outstanding. Dessert was creme brule for her, triple berry mousse for me. Both excellent.

VG, consider us there.

Rana, I know exactly what you mean.

Bill, a link, man. Do you have a link to your article?

Shakes,

I just wanted people to know I wasn't inventing dialogue. There was no satire intended. We cool, Sis? Right on!

[Linkmeister]

(Reverting to 1970s language):

It would be really far out if there were a guest review!

[grasshopper]

You have no idea how much I'd love to read a book review by Lance Mannion's wife! I admire the blog but if it could use anything it's a woman's take on the books we read. Try guest writing on this well-read, much-admired blog and see if you don't want to start one yourself. Even if it takes a while before you're sightmeter is rolling, what you write will remain in archives, ready for anyone who wants to read them, to do so.
And you have your own designer. I'm sure he'd do all sorts of enticing banners for you and side bars for you. But start out writing guest reviews. You may not like it as much as I suspect, but your husband's readers would really love it. Grasshopper who would also like to read more of his short story. I love stories.

[burritoboy]

Lance,

I thought you'alls lived in upstate New York. Now it turns out you actually live in Martha's Vineyard. I am now very disappointed in you. And we will now all come and visit your house and drink much Corona on your front lawn and yell loudly about asshole Republicans and talk about who is hotter Zoey or Uma and scare all your neighbors.

We weren't going to do that when we thought you lived in Utica or some such.

[Lance]

bb,

Martha's Vineyard? In my dreams. One more week here and then it's back to that someplace like Utica. But I like the picture you painted of us all on the lawn here and as a matter of fact, Uncle Merlin, the blonde, and I have decided to throw a big blogger bash here next summer. You in?

[burritoboy]

Maybe. Next summer though I'm going to be neck-deep in starting up the firm's newest master-planned community in Denver: Horizon CityCenter - Aurora's Fun Place to Live, Shop and Laugh! (ok, I just invented that particular awful slogan, but that's our newest master pla........big-ass shopping mall and suburban sprawl).

[DuWayne]

I am so very curious, Blonde. Was Lance always so romantic or is it just part of the aging proccess? I am curious because I am single and could easily see myself having the discussion, both with myself and my partner, that Lance had with you and himself. I am beggining to think I am destined to enjoy life single - until I get really old and find a crusty old woman as cynical and crotchety as me.

[Pa reader]

Please, Mrs. Mannion, grace us with a guest review. I also like the "equal time" theory regarding the big night out! Please write, oh please?

[Kevin Wolf]

I'd be interested in the Blonde's review. The book has been heavily promoted here in the Boston area, naturally, but its reception seems rather mixed, from what I've gathered.

Re blogatosis: Blogging has definitely tempered my ranting, both online and off. It wasn't so much the getting of feelings out of my system as it was seeing the rants in black and white and realizing that they did not amuse me, let alone any readers I had.

Of course, my rants were true rants, not measured Lance Mannion-type "rants."

[Michael Bains]

... I started this blog in the hope that having a daily rant on the internet would take away my desire to rant in real life.

Hasn't worked that way.

LOL! I can't figure out how I'd do such a thing, but apparently it's cake for some folks.

I hope The Blonde does her review here. I've always appreciated the idea of Special Guest Appearances, and that particular story does certainly have a compelling aspect to it.

[KathyF]

I'd like to read a review, please.

[blue girl]

"Blonde," I said softly and meaningfully, "Those Republicans sure are crazy, aren't they?"

:)

Mrs. Mannion, at least you got creme brule for all that trouble. All my husband has been doing lately is shuffling around and muttering to himself about those crazy Republicans. And while all that muttering is indeed soft and meaningful -- with the occasional outburst of "It's all Cheney and Rumsfeld! They're going to kill us all!" -- creme brule has not been part of the equation.

I would love to read your review. I read an excerpt in Vanity Fair awhile back and it was good. I love compelling and creepy.

Can't wait to read your take on it.

[Adorable Girlfriend]

AG is in for a blogger bash and she doesn't have far to go!!

What the lovely blonde didn't know was that we have Hampshire and Berkshire counties. Luckily, 75% of MA lives in the eastern blue. Gun racks and rednecks are to the west. I used to work for an unamed politican whose strategists put it best: "If it wasn't for Smith, Northampton would be all redneck bible huggin'."