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  • Lance Mannion
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In college I went to an optometrist who was named, Dr. Stephen I. Ball.


Don't you mean "Cohen", as in Jerry?


I have a couple. The heart surgeon who operated on my dad was Dr. Heartman.

A local doctor is named Dr. Illman.

But the one I like the best is a woman I met whose name was Olive Martini. Her profession? Yep, a bartender.

Mike Schilling

This was a regular feature of the late Herb Caen's column in the San Francisco Chronicle. He called them "namephreaks".

My earliest one goes back to the '64 World Series (when I was 5): a ballplayer named "Cleat" (OK, he spelled it "Clete").


There's also the Seinfeld episode where Frank Costanza goes to a proctologist named Assman, but that's a little over the top. Plus Philip Baker Hall, who played Bookman, is just so cool.

There is the golfer Gary Player and the baseball players Charlie Spikes and Cecil (and Prince) Fielder. Of course, Cecil Fielder was often a designated hitter, which makes his name an even better gag.

Bill Altreuter

There is an orthopedist in WNY named Lawrence Bone.

blue girl

Remember the Seinfeld episode when Jerry got in trouble with the library...

Remember it? It's one of my favorites!! :)

Ooooh, trying to save a quarter.

...and so many more lines -- but, you don't want me to go on and on...

Ok. Bookman WAS the one more....

...Look, if you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped.  Or maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld... Maybe that's how you get your kicks... You and your goodtime buddies... I've got a flash for you, joy boy.  Partytime is over.


Don't have a funny name to add though. Sorry joy boy.


I work at a publishing company with an employee whose last name is (inappropriately!) Bookless.


I once (once!) went to a dentist named Dr. Fear - appropriately named it turned out. He decided my previously perfect teeth had 4 cavities. When he put the fillings in, the Novocain wasn't working well for some reason. After more than 10 shots, I could still feel the drill.


I got sick in England some time ago and ended up going to a Dr. Strangeways.

Ralph Hitchens

My dentist's name is Lipps. In the ball park?

mac macgillicuddy

We recently went to the workshop of a cabinet maker named Sawyer.

Ralph, when my wife was a kid, she went to a dentist named Dr. Smiley.

I also once worked for a boss named Jerk. Or was that just what we called him....


I have to admit, back when I was reading your NY series, I kind of got stuck on the fact that Anna Burger was talking about the woes of meat processing.


In some exotic language, my last name means shepherd and yet I am unslathered with mint jelly.


Mike Schilling, congrats for giving credit to Herb Caen.

The guy who did my hernia surgery about 10 years ago was named Grief.

Exiled in New Jersey

My eye doctor for many years was Dr. Iatesta. Really! He is probably still there in Delaware County PA. I also recall playing Dr. Finger at chess; those who knew him said he was a gynecologist.

Shakespeare's Sister

Dr. Payne.


We had a family physician named John B. Quick and a neighbor named Wally who was from Walla Walla.

Mr. Shakes

Well, there have been a few. The first who springs to mind is my old high school English teacher, Mr. Nale. Who, if you stepped out of line, would swiftly nail you to the nearest wall. Damn good teacher, though (not that you would know it, reading this).

Then we have my old thermodynamics teacher, Professor Brian Brain. His lectures would leave me weeping with pain, as I raced to quickly write down the complex formulae he would scrawl illegibly on the whiteboard and then erase without warning. He would always do this as I was copying down his second to last line of math.

Violet Mannion

The principal in my elementary school was Mrs.Meany.

Violet M.

Oh, and i suppose my english teacher in 8th grade was Mr.Edgar. Very much into poetry, too...


when I lived in New Hampshire my girlfriend always wanted to go to the gynecologist's office we passed on the way to Keene from Peterbourough-Dr. Papp. She figured his family must have invented it and maybe it wouldn't suck when he did it (i think it was Edward or Richard Papp.)


I went through a long period where I thought chiropracty automatically equalled quackery -- what can I say, I was raised by cynical parents -- until my wife convinced me otherwise.

That said, near my favorite Mexican resturant is the office of a chiropractor -- named Dr. Timothey Swindler.


In the ballpark, are names that seem to match physical features and characteristics. I think the one that broke my heart was a pair of girls who had slightly upturned rounded noses named "Thigpen." They'd often come into a place where I worked and I always thought middle school must have been hell for them.

blue girl

I have one! I knew I did!

Our insurance guy's last name is Conn.


Exiled in New Jersey

I actually think Lance posted this item to see if anyone was out there. When it is 99 degrees here by the water, we are too envious of his sojurn at the Cape.

harry near indy

chuck, cecil fielder has a son named prince fielder who, iirc, is playing in the major leagues for some second-level team. it might be the brewers.

and if you mention bookman the library cop, which is a name for a fictional character, i'm surprised that no one has yet mentioned the august law firm of dewey cheathem and howe before i did.

Lost Boy

Our chief of mental health services is Dr. Mellow. And there are a few gastroenterologist out there named Dr. Butt.


Exiled in NJ: I actually think Lance posted this item to see if anyone was out there. When it is 99 degrees here by the water, we are too envious of his sojurn at the Cape.

NJ, Shhh! You'll give the game away!


Two of my mom's colleagues in forensic pathology were Cheryl Coffin and the NYC medical examiner, Elliott Gross.

Somewhere in my travel photos I've got a shot of a brass plaque outside the door of an OB-GYN's office in Rouen. The name is Anne-Marie Bastard.


Harry, yeah, Prince Fielder is with the Brewers.

Oh, I've always loved the fact that Frued basically translates as "joy" or "bliss," which I believe the famed psychoanalyst mentions in Interpretation of Dreams (his books brought me little joy when I was in grad school unfortunately).

Uncle Merlin

8th Grade Science was taught by Mr. Nebulus.
And our guidance councelor was Mrs. Darling.

Don't you just feel the spirit of Festivus all around???


There used to be a dentist in Pomona whose name was Dr. Toothacher. I wonder if he felt that his career had been forced on him by his surname.


My friend worked for a dentist in SF named Les Plack (and yes, it is pronounced like plaque...)

Adorable Girlfriend

I've not known anyone interesting name wise other than I work with Bill Bill and knew of a Clark Mark.

Uncle M., you crack me up with the festivus reference!

May DeMonde

I have a primary physician, Dr. Bleeden.

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