Nightmare at 50 feet!

l know how I'm going to die.

I'm going to be electrocuted working on our damn pool.

Either I'll get fried pumping off the pool cover or I'll burn futzing around with the pump and filter.

Spent the morning uncovering the pool, again.  Seemed like I'd just finished that chore.  Wasn't it spring only last week?   Managed to do it without dying but I tripped the circuit breaker three times.

It's only a matter of time.

I used to think I was going to die in an airplane crash.  But I've significantly decreased the odds of that by refusing to fly.  I'll drive to California and then swim to get to Hawaii before I ever board an airplane again.

Don't talk to me about flying being the safest form of travel.  I know the odds of any one plane going down.  Those aren't the odds that interest me.  Tell me the odds of my walking away once something starts to go wrong while I'm up there.

Before I developed my fear of flying, which should be called what it is, a fear of crashing, I was convinced I would finish up as a meal for sharks.  I still haven't seen Jaws and I don't plan to, because I don't need a relapse into that phobia, thank you.

The oddest thing about that nightmare was that it never stopped me from swimming in the ocean.  Maybe because I never swim alone.  I use the buddy system, as Johnny Carson once recommended:

"When a shark comes along, throw him your buddy."

Nevermind.  The pool's going to get me before the sharks or a flock of birds flying into the jet engine do.

But if I survive pools, planes, and aquatic predators, fate, I am convinced, has something else in store for me.

Death by amusement park.

I love amusement parks.  From the ground.  I go on the rides only when my kids are with me and I feel I have to set a big strong brave dad example.  Otherwise, I watch all the fun from the midway.  Even merry go rounds scare me.  I just know that one of these days I'll be on one, the operator will lose his mind, kick the thing into high gear, let it build up speed, and then throw the brake and I'll go spinning off into space.

Over the weekend a couple of teenage girls visiting the Orange County Fair lived out my nightmare.

Town of Wallkill – Two girls were left dangling 50 feet above the ground for almost an hour yesterday after a thrill ride at the Orange County Fair malfunctioned. The two were on the Ejection Seat, a towering reverse-Bungee jump ride that catapults riders more than 180 feet into the air at more than 70 mph while strapped into two seats inside a metal cage.

Witnesses said they heard a loud twanging sound and then saw the cage with the two girls in it swinging wildly and out of control.

You read that right.  The ride launches you into the air at 70 miles per hour, aimed at a spot 180 feet up.  This is called fun.

Astronauts don't train on anything that dangerous.

But I wouldn't have expected what happened to those two girls.  I'd figure that if something were to go wrong, it would be that the cage wouldn't stop when it reached the top---it would crash right on through whatever barrier or bumper's up there to catch it and shoot up into the sky like a rocket until gravity noticed it running away from earth and decided to bring it home before it reached orbit.

What actually happened was that a cable snapped, the locking mechanism that's supposed to keep the thing from flying out of control didn't lock, and:

...the cage containing the two girls swung around and hit the pole several more times before coming to rest sideways at least 50 feet above the ground.

The girls must have been scared out of their minds, which might have been a good thing, because they had a long time to think about their predicament.  They were up there for an hour before firefighters rescued them.

Mechanicstown firefighters used cables and elastic straps to secure the cage and then used a ladder truck to reach the trapped riders. They gingerly released the girls, who were able to walk down the ladder to the ground.

The two riders, Justine Rivera, 16, of Jersey City, N.J., and Angela Lopez, 18, of Rockland, Mass., were shaken but unhurt  after their ordeal, police said. Both were taken by ambulance to a local hospital as a precaution and later released, officials said.

(You can read the full story by Dave Richardson of the Times Herald-Record here.  There's video.  A follow up today includes a picture gallery.  The photo above was taken by Michele Haskell.  Registration may be required.  Paper's site is unpredictable that way.)

We don't go to the Orange County Fair.  Too far.  But the Ulster County Fair's coming up.  Probably will include a lot of the same rides.  I wonder if the Ejection Seat will be there.  If it is I'll go on it.

Hah!

By the way, the heat here turned our pool water to soup while we were away, despite the New Jersey dump site's worth of chemicals I poured into it before we left.

Ok. I lied for effect there.  I should pat myself on the back for my pool maintenance prowess.  The water actually looks inviting.  Should be ready for swimming by tonight.  Come on over for a dip.

Suits optional after 10 p.m.

I guarantee no sharks.

Comments

[gmack]

I knew a guy who, when asked how he wanted to die, responded that he wanted to be eaten by a shark. He thought it would be the most exciting and impressive way to go. I suppose that's correct: just imagine the adrenaline rush as you watch the creature emerge from the depths, its eyes trained on you. It would probably be the most exciting moment in one's whole life.

[Lance]

Gmack, Next time I go swimming in the ocean I'm taking your friend along as my buddy.

Do you have any other self-destructive friends, specifically one who wants to die by electrocution? I'll pay him to work on my pool.

[mac macgillicuddy]

"Suits optional after 10 p.m."

No thanks! People who swim in pools -- or any public waterhole -- with optional suits are always killed by some heinous means.

It's in all the horror movies...You saw "Blood Beach"!

By the way, does this mean that before 10 p.m., black tie is required?

[David Parsons]

What I wonder about the bungee cord ride accident is whether either of the passengers saw the broken bungee cord sail by and think "oh, shit", or if they waited until the capsule was going "WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! Wham! Wham! wham! wham! clunk!" against the arm of the slingshot before they commenced simultaneous panic.

[blue girl]

Hi Lance: Get this. I have a friend who's husband was head of maintenance at a large amusement park near here for more than 18 years. Next to the amusement park is a "Sea World" type park -- and has it's own head of maintenance.

The two parks merged a few years back. So, the corporate office figured, "why do we need two guys in charge of maintenance?"

So, they fire my friend's husband -- WHO KNOWS HOW TO MAINTAIN SCARY RIDES -- because he made way more money than the other guy.

The guy who maintained Shamoo's water tank is now head of maintenance at the amusement park also.

Makes a lot of sense, huh? Needless to say, we really don't go to amusement park anymore. When they are only looking at the bottom line -- even when it comes to safety -- no way, no how are you going to get me, or a family member on one of those rides again.

[Anne Laurie]

I've always assumed that when I'm going to die, I'll die... it's not the "death" part that worries me, it's the potential pain & suffering part right before death. (Like your "not afraid of flying, afraid of crashing" distinction.) In my case, this means I'm not afraid of roller coasters but I'm TERRIFIED of ferris wheels... which are so much slower & have far less protection... have always had this image of myself stepping away from the soap-bubble ferris gondola & falling foreeeever before becoming a smear on the pavement.

[Pepper]

If you're feeling masochistic, there is a goofy 70s flick about a twisted guy trying to sabotage rollercoaster rides. It's called 'Rollercoaster,' natch, and it features a crabby, constipated George Segal as an amusement-park inspector out to catch the guy.

Lots of gratuitous shots of the ride from the coster perspective. I saw this on in full-screen glory in Berkeley. If you see it that way, bring a wastebasket.

[Linkmeister]

I used to know a guy who had a saying about sharks: "If they don't go into the bar, I won't go into the ocean." He never did swim while I knew him on Kwajalein (which is all of 1.5 miles long, .5 miles wide, and [duh] surrounded by water).

Sadly, he died of some sort of gastrointestinal thing a few years later.

[grishaxxx]

Perhaps a tiresome detail, but my prescribing shrink told me I was a bit of an, "adrenaline junkie." Fortunately for me, this does not extend to 'coasters, sky-diving, or any thrill ride that demands I be upside-down for any length of time.
Upside-down in water (which supports one nicely) is another story - and if it's suitless and under a full moon, even better. I do prefer pools - even without Jaws, the notion of hungry stuff rising from the dark to snack on me... well, you can imagine.

[res publica]

Thanks, Lance. Thanks for ruining all themepark rides for me. Forever. Thanks a lot.

[Exiled in NJ]

So its County Fair time again. Ulster and then Dutchess the last week of August and over Labor Day, the Columbia County one in Chatham......such a rhythm the year has up there. I miss it all, the billboards with the Maurice Sendak type animals advertising the one in Rhinebeck, the fairgrounds in Chatham where I'd walk the dog the other 50 weeks of the year, three miles from my house.

My dream of death was always from heat related causes, which would happen when I mowed the back two acres with my DR Brush Cutter. Stuff was 5-6 feet high but it would hew down anything in its path while the sweat poured off me and the rabbits and deer scattered. When I was done I could see my neighbor's paddock and the horse he kept there. Then I would pass out and expire while they buried me near the rock that marked our boundary.

[GaijinBiker]

Speaking of bungee-related accidents... there's a video clip floating around the 'net of a guy bungee jumping who manages to get the cord looped around his neck when he bounces back up after the initial plunge. Not good.

[Jessica]

That was my sister on the ride Angela. She actually was hurt. She couldn't move her neck for a month and she has back problems.