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PZ Myers

I'm sure I don't have to explain to you that college professors typically work 60 hour weeks, those times when classes are not in session are not vacation times but time to get our research done (and if you're on a 10 month appointment like I am, you don't get paid for that time), and that we have to spend 8-10 years in advanced training at poverty level wages to get a job that pays a lower middle-class salary?

Right?

We are pretty much miserable failures by Republican standards, though. Maybe that's why we're all flaming left-wingers.

Lance

No, no, Prof. Myers! See when I used to teach I used to make the same mistake, thinking that all those hours reading, grading, meeting with students, going to meetings, preparing lectures, and doing the writing the dept. required me to do to justify their hiring me to teach writing counted as work too. But I was wrong. Only the actual time spent in the classroom counts as work. Plus, I was rich, rich, rich, and overpaid. David Horowitz told me so!

Linkmeister

Lance, you've just given me an idea. If we had unions that worked well, they'd negotiate double-time pay for meeting time. Everyone would be so much more productive as the number of meetings fell dramatically!

Side note: believe it or not, one of the strongest unions in Hawai'i (and they're all strong out here) is the HSTA for public school teachers, and the other is the UH faculty assembly.

Shakespeare's Sister

I'll grant you that's a very annoying bumper sticker, and well worth this lovely post.

However, my all-time most detested bumper sticker (which I've seen on more than one car in the area in which I live) is:

WARNING: In case of Rapture, this car will be unmanned.

Every time I see it, it makes me believe in God, just long enough to pray, "Please take them. Please take them all as soon as possible."

KathyF

Driving in the UK means never having to get upset over someone else's bumper sticker. No one has a bumper sticker here, but those "Baby on Board" signs are very popular. They annoy me. Like I'm supposed to be more careful around your car because there's a baby inside instead of a middle aged guy? Or an annoying teenager? Or a gun-toting grandma?

Anne Laurie

I prefer the sticker that says "Annoy a Conservative -- THINK". Which I would use as a cubicle poster, not a bumper sticker. Anyone remember the formerly ubiquitous "God Is My Co-Pilot" bumper stickers? Friend of mine doctored one to read "Dog Is My Co-Pilot", because her Irish Setter acted like that. The bumper sticker drew several obscene notes before she got tired of the joke & removed it. Which I considered yet another indication that the most self-proclaimed Godly among us don't seem to have read their manual...

PZ Myers

Only time in the classroom counts? Woo-hoo! I only work 7 hours a week!

Hannah

Saw a parked car with a "W'04" and "My Heroes have always been cowboys" (w/photos of Raygun and W) bumper stickers. Left a note under the windshield wiper that read: "W ain't no cowboy - he's afraid of horses!"

Felt better afterwards.

Amanda Marcotte

Feminists have the the lock on annoying conservatives. Annoy a Conservative--Be Funny, Be Sexy, Be a Feminist.

Lance

See, PZ. And you thought David Horowitz was making it up.

denisdekat

A lot of what the Right does is frame things so they assert what they want while making it offensive to do otherwise. They have talented gold star sell outs doing this sort of thing...

But just to comment on the bumper sticker, I wonder what the guy would think of corporate welfare?

glenstonecottage

That's funny, cause I thought up a good bumper sticker the other day too:

"Do you see W's kids serving in Iraq?"

Bill Altreuter

So, Lance, do you have a bumper sticker? When I was a law student driving a VW Type 4 I had "Real Americans Drive American Cars." When we went Volvo earlier this year A went on EBay and got a "McGovern/Shriver". This seems a bit too subtle for most people-- my sister-in-law, who was, concededly, in second grade in 1972, thought it was a reference to Maria Shriver. As a bow tie wearing liberal, I guess I am really all about giving the world the finger all the time, and careful bumper sticker selection has always been important to me.

Lance

Bill,

No bumper stickers on our cars. We had a Vote Democratic sticker on the back of the wagon, put there by our 9 year old, but it peeled off after the first rain. That seemed too symbolic of the state of the party.

I love reading other people's bumper stickers though and write down my favorites. Maybe I'll do a post sometime that's all bumper stickers.

My favorite right now is: Smile, Jesus Loves You. Everyone Else Thinks You're an Asshole.

And no I'm not violating my own rules of comment etiquette, wiseguys. (I'm talking to you, Mr Heretik!)

Erin

It's amazing the effect a bumper sticker can have on your day... I live in Memphis, TN, where every other car on the road is an SUV or pick-up truck plastered with "W" stickers (or the worst: "al Qaeda votes for Kerry"). It sucks. Yesterday, however, I ended up behind a car with an "I didn't vote for that son of a Bush" sticker and various anti-Bush sentiments. It made me feel like I wasn't alone in the South! I waved at the driver, and he then saw my "Bush is a weapon of mass deception" sticker. We gave each other the thumb's up and went on our merry ways.

Elayne Riggs

See, I don't think of most bumper stickers as being self-congratulatory. I think of them as being reflections of their owners' senses of humor (or lack thereof). Like I want to get the Jesus fish parodies that say "N' Chips" and "Sushi," to go with my Ralph Spoilsport license plate frame. I suppose in a way my sense of humor might make me self-congratulatory, but my intent is to bring a smile to others.

Anne

I saw one last year -- and I'll never forget this -- that said "John Kerry -- For CZAR!" with a ...hammer and sickle. Yes. Because the czars and the commies? Same people. Hell, they're all Russkies. Also, John Kerry is a Communist, what with the fighting the Communists in Vietnam and all.

Maggie

Brilliant post! I love the image of that idiot trying to drive. If only he were in an SUV... would've been the perfect picture. We see lots of those types here in Albuquerque - only in the upper-income neighborhoods near the malls, of course! (Hey, I'm just happy they leave downtown alone.)

Joseph

A few more good ones:

"Annoy a conservative - say 'global warming'"

"Annoy a conservative - ask them to think, have a plan, be responsible"

"Annoy a conservative - express concern for the future"


I saw a bumper sticker the other day that almost made me laugh and cry all in one: "W stands for Women". I am amazed that any woman with any self resepect whatsoever would put that sticker on her car. The aggressively ignorant bushBots never cease to amaze me.

james

Well I see that the "Annoy a Liberal" bumper sticker has got you people all roiled up. It looks like it's a huge success! It's even got you guys making very lame attempts at come-back lines. Take my advice and leave it to someone like Michael Moore. He may be an idiot, but at least he can come up with some funny one-liners for his simple minded audience.

Loyalty

Joseph, i agree with you, but M.M. is just as biased as the people he whines about. Don't get me wrong though, Bush is the man.

Loyalty

i mean james

Ken W

I had one of those "ANNOY A LIBERAL" bumber stickers and someone actually tore it off my car. Everyone has the right to speak their mind but nobody has the right to destroy anothers property. That sure was a funny sticker....either it made people chuckle or it made them angry. I wish I knew where to get another one of those stickers. I sure miss it.

John B

I'm glad to learn that the "Annoy a Liberal..." bumper stickers are so annoying to liberals. That speaks volumes of the truth in them. I'm ordering a half-dozen or so tonight! The funniest parts of all this, however, are your comebacks. They don't make any sense! "Annoy a Liberal... Drive Badly." LOL. That's just plain stupid. "Annoy a Conservative ... THINK." LOL. 95% of Democrats are members of some sort of labor union, or black--all of whom do pretty much whatever their leaders tell them to do (anything but think for themselves).

Spurwing Plover

Next time you see some liberla doofushead tree hugger with that dumb bumper sticker reading THE EARTH IS YOUR MOTHER roll down your window spit on the ground and say HEY I JUST SPAT ON YOUR MOTHER

Alysia

oh stop crying you little liberals.
do you realize you're confirming the bumper sticker???
you're complain complain complain!


GO REPUBLICANS!!!!!!!

goofus bird

Annoy a liberal drive a SUV and especaly on EARTH DAY fire up the BBQ and roast a few hot dogs,hamburgers,a steak or chicken or two dont take mass transit dump your bicycle in the dumpster toss out our enviromentalists junk mail in the garbage can refuse to go green use incandecent bulbs instead of those rediculous compact florecent ones shapped like pig tails leave your pourch light on all night dont rent or buy A INCENVENT TRUTH becuase you think AL GORE is too wealthy

goofus bird

Whats real annoying is when they use BCE(BEFORE COMMON ERA) and CE(COMMON ERA) as if their afraid of offending liberals secular atheists and all this poppycock about evoltion as if these doofuses know everything when they dont know a darn thing about where they came from and espceialy liberals are annoying when they want gun control on us all but still want their armed guards to protect them as if their so dad gum important

kelly

Thanks for your great affirmation. I went right out and bought one of those for my toyota camry (standard tranny) that gets much better city AND highway mileage than the very expensive hybrids. Alas, not being a liberal I have to go without the enormous satifaction of being able to show everyone how green I am.

DNWord

For those of you who don't get it, the "annoy a liberal, work, succeed, be happy," bumper sticker is annoying because it falsely attributes to liberals an objection to work, success or happiness. In reality, conservatives have no monopoly on hard work, success or happiness, even though they like to pretend they own those values. In reality, liberals do work, succeed and achieve happiness every bit as much as conservatives. Take for example the bumper sticker I saw today:

Work. Succeed. Become president.

If you really want to annoy a liberal try this:
Do shoddy work. Succeed by trampling someone else's rights. Be happy when you see others suffering.

Flu-Bird

I saw a window sticker on a car reading VISIALIZE WHIRLED PEAS

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