The most unfortunate event in a series of unfortunate events

We finished The Grim Grotto yesterday.

Now we are bereft, a word which here means, we want to start the next book in the series right away but are sad to find that the inconsiderate author has not obliged us by having published it yet.

Anybody heard how long we have to wait for Book the Twelfth in Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events?

(When you follow the link, hit refresh/reload a couple of times, just for fun.)

Have you heard what it's called?  What it's about?  Tell me, please!

I don't think we can stand the suspense!

By we I mean the 8 year old and me.  The blonde and the 11 year old are a little more even-keeled about it.  I've been impressed by the 11 year old.  He's been waiting two and a half years now for the final Star Wars movie and not even seeing the trailer at the beginning of The Incredibles last month has caused his Jedi-like patience to fray.

But his brother and I are as anxious to get our hands on the next installment of the Baudelaire orphans' woeful tale as Count Olaf is to get his hands on their fortune!

Maybe we'll be able to tough it out, a phrase which here means, Not drive ourselves crazy with expectation between now and the time when Lemony Snicket's editor decodes the torn pages Snicket sent him from the Hotel Denouement and locates the manuscript Snicket has hidden in, it appears, the Galway Kennell.  We survived the wait between finishing The Slippery Slope in September and the library's delivering our copy of The Grim Grotto just in time for Thanksgiving vacation.

Devoted friends of the Baudelaires will point out that the book was in the bookstores in October.  Yes, but we weren't waiting for just the book.

We wanted the tape.

When I say we've now read all 11 books, I mean that we have listened to all 11 books.  Tim Curry has read them to us.  Well, Tim Curry read us Books the First and the Second and the Sixth through the Eleventh.  Lemony Snicket himself read the other three.  Say what you will about Curry's performances in The Rocky Horror Picture Show or The Wild Thornberries Movie.  They pale in comparison.  The work he does on the Series of Unfortunate Events is one of the best acting jobs I've heard or seen.

I love the darkness he puts into the word dark whenever he gives Esme Squalor's address, "667 Daaaarrrrrk Avenue."  And the tears that fill up the words and make his pronunciation of "Lake Lachrymose" drip with melancholy.

And what Curry does with the 209 evers that take up two whole pages in The Reptile Room makes for a glorious, and hilarious, aria for unaccompanied human voice.

Books on tape have been one of the secret joys of parenthood for the blonde and me.  Not to mention the salvation of a hundred long distance car rides.

In fact, I was enjoying listening to the boys' books so much that a couple years ago I began listening regularly to grown up books on my own.  Since then most of the books I've "read" have been books I've had read to me.

This has created some confusion in my own head about my reading.  Often I'm not sure if I liked the book or liked the reading of it.  Sometimes it's clear.  I like Jonathan Kellerman's Alex Delaware mysteries because I really enjoy John Rubenstein's reading of them.  I'm pretty sure if I ever tried to read them to myself I'd find them slow going.  On the other hand, I like Robert Parker's Spenser novels whether or not I read them or Joe Mantegna reads them to me.  But I can't say whether I liked Brideshead Revisited because of what Evelyn Waugh wrote or because of how Jeremy Irons read what Waugh wrote.

The part of me that's a reader is conflicted.  But the part of me that loves the theater (but never comes late) and movies because he loves good acting has no problems with it.  Some of the books I've listened to have included the performances of their careers by the actors reading them.

There's Rubenstein and Curry, of course, but Stockard Channing's work in her readings of Beverly Cleary's Romona novels is also wonderful!  Jon Cryer will never get another gig as good as the one he's got doing Chet Gecko, the best lizard detective at Emerson Hickey Elementary School.  And while Joe Mantegna does a fine job on the more recent Spenser novels, you should try to find Burt Reynolds' readings of Stardust, Chance, Small Vices, and Hush Money.

Harry Potter fans know that what Jim Dale's doing with his reading of the books is better than anything that's been in the movies so far and it was stupid of the producers not to hire him to replace Richard Harris as Dumbledore. They had a chance to wise up and use him as Mad-Eye Mooney in Goblet of Fire but apparently they've blown it, again.

Ralph Fiennes, though, is an excellent choice for he who shall not be named.

Anyway, I could go on and on.  There's William Gaminara's Sharpe, Elliott Gould's Philip Marlowe, Martin Jarvis's Bertie Wooster and Jeeves.  Plenty of others.  But if any of you have some favorites, I'd appreciate it if you'd put them in the comments.

Christmas is coming and we've got some traveling to do.

Comments

[orcacam07]

book thirteen is coming out october 13

[emily]

we all know that

[emily]

"The Notorious Notations"<

[trent]

I have cover art for the last book "THE END" (book 13)!!!

[orcacam07]

me too. in the picture olaf is dead.

[Alexis]

Well orcacam07, you were not one of the people. I just fel left out because i did not read all of the books. But i have now so if you have any questions or comments i would be happy to respond. And does anybody know what happend to katie? And Joe Momma, i really like ur name. LOL

[Alexis]

Where is everyone

[Samsung]

Hey, im sam i just wanted to ask, is there a 13th book or does it only fnish at 12.
THANKS!
Sam!

[Linda Landers]

the last book is going to be called "The End"
if you go to HarperCollins.com you can subscribe to it and get info.

[Linda]

do these letters make a word?:

B R W M A E V H C S G P ?

[Róisín]

Yay! Te 13th book was out yesterday!(Fridat the 13th)

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TELL US COUNT OLAF WAS DEAD ON THE COVER D:

I'm buying it today probably!

[Alexandra]

GUYS! I REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD STOP CHATTING ON THIS BOARD! IT IS CLOSED!

[kyle irwn]

this book is dumb it's boring and count olaf is not dead u dumb a**

[kyle irwn]

this book is dumb it's boring and count olaf is not dead u dumb a**

[Emily]

yeah that last book was awsome.

[Hayley]

hiya don't know if this is like and active board or not but what did you think about the 13th book? first of all i was like yay that was so awesome but then i started to think and i thought that so many things were left unexplained...such as the quagmire triplets, the sugar bowl...what do the letters VFD stand for????

[bob]

? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bob]

NO! THIS BOOK CAN'T be the last one! AHHHH

[Alexis]

Hey guys, i dont think you remeber me but i used to come on this site. Well i read all the books made by LS. Personally i think he ended the series poorly. I mean wats in the sugar bowl, wat happend to the Quagmeir triplets, wat happenns to babay beatrice, how will her life turn out, wat will happen to vfd??????? I know the series was full of mysteries but i dont think he should of left us thinking about it. What do you guys think?

[Allyssa Altman]

I have read all the books and want there to be a 14th! What happened to the Baudelaires? I have the Beatrice letters, and I decoded the secret message. Did their boat sink? :)

[Omar Noori]

Hey! Tristan Vanech! I thought you had ((MONEY)!

[Laura]

The 13th book was very confusing. Check chapter 12 or 13 where Kit is dying from that weird mushroom that I can't spell, why did Olaf kiss her and why did she respond in that way and becouse he kissed her, they must have had some kind of relationship along time ago so did Olaf go bad or did Kit go good or did Kik just come to her sences or what?

[RHPS fan]

Tim Curry rocks

[koriz]

Hello pals

[Brandon]

These books are the best books I have ever got to the seventh books in a seires of chapter books I have seen the movie and I thought it was pretty good in my class at sugar creek elementary school my teatcher has read the books to us and we got to the seventh book she has never got to th sixth book we all loved these books they are very, very good.

[COUNT OLAF]

hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm really new here! I LOVE a series of unfortunate events!!!!! it ROCKS!!!!!!

[Voldepotter]

omg ive read all of them . or maybe it's because it's been two years. the 13th book came out october 13, 2006 for anyone wondering and the secong movie might not be made. 13 was called The End and 12 was the Penultimate Peril.

~ voldy ~
P.S. Harry Potter rocks

[Llama]

It was a bright morning as the sun blazed down on the Village hidden in the leaves. Birds chirped over the tall walls that stood over the large place. It seemed like any other ordinary day, until Naruto, Neji and Kakashi were called in to the Hokages office.
“Whats up Granny?” Naruto said, entering the room with Neji and Kakashi. Tsuande sat there with her head resting on her hands.
“Something urgent has just come up…You remember Mizuki, The traitor that tried to steal that scroll…Well, he escaped from Prison last night.”
“What?! How?” Naruto exclaimed.
“We aren’t sure.” Tsunade replied. “But he managed to kill 2 Jonin on his way out. We have been tracking him and checking his files. We can’t guarantee it %100…But we believe he is a close companion with Orochimaru. If that’s true, he probably went to him as soon as he escaped.”
“So what do you want us to do?” Neji said. Tsunade sighed.“First, I need you to head to the Sand Village. I need you to convince Gaara of the Sand to help us with this mission. I usually wouldn’t do this, calling in ninjas from other villages, but this is a dangerous mission. He seemed like the perfect person to go up against Orochimaru if you have an encounter with him.”
“If we have an encounter with him…Tsunade, what do you mean?” Kakashi finally spoke.
Tsunade closed her eyes. “Your mission is to bring Gaara of the sand with you on this mission, and then invade Orochimaru’s hideout in search of Mizuki. If you find him, we want you to bring him back alive for questioning.”
“We’ll do it.” Naruto and Neji said together.
Later that night, Naruto, Neji and Kakashi set off. Heading toward the sand village would take a good day on foot.
“We’ll set up camp here.” Kakashi said, stopping the two. They were in the middle of a large forest that was infested with bugs and spiders. They set up their tents and went to sleep, But were quickly awoken by the sound of a voice.
“SAND BURIAL!”
Neji jumped up quickly, followed by Kakashi running out of his tent and drawing a kunai. Naruto rubbed his eye as he got out unsteadily.
“Whats going on?” Naruto said through a yawn.
Neji focused his eyes on the trees ahead of him. “Byakugan!”
Neji looked for a moment, and then gasped. “It’s Gaara of the Sand!”
The team ran through the trees and landed in a clearing to find Gaara standing next to a dead body as Vultures came down and chewed on the mans artiery.
“What are you guys doing here?” Gaara said, noticing them.
“We were just about to ask you the same thing.” Naruto said, still rubbing his eyes and yawning.
“I spotted this guy about to stab one of our villagers with a Demon Wind Shuriken. Once he saw me coming after him, He just kept running, until he reached here. Then I got him.”
“Okay….Well, we need you for a mission.” Naruto said. “It’s an order from Granny Tsunade.”
Naruto then explained the situation.
“So, are you in?” Kakashi said with a blank face.
“Why not. I want to prove myself worthy of being trusted by the Hidden Leaf…Plus I’m bored….”
Now that they had Gaara, they were ready to set off for Orochimaru’s hideout.
“How are we going to find a secret lair?” Neji asked.
“Easy.” Kakashi said, and then performed hand seals, followed by throwing his hand to the ground.
Smoke faded over the forest grass. When it flew away, Pakkun the dog stood there, licking his side.
“Whats up?” Pakkun said.
“I need you to track down a scent.” Kakashi said. “Orochimaru’s scent.”
“No problem…” Pakkun said. He took a quick sniff, and then flew off.
“Follow me.”
The group hopped through several trees as leaves and birds sped past them.
“We’re getting close.” Pakkun announced. Then, suddenly, Naruto froze. He just realized-If he was going to Orochimaru’s lair…There was a possibility of finding Sasuke….
“Naruto, whats wrong?” Gaara said, noticing Naruto wasn’t moving.
“Nothing.” Naruto said in a deep, cold voice. They continued through the forest.

--

“We’re here.” Pakkun said. They were in the middle of a clearing with a roaring waterfall behind them.
“Nothings here.” Naruto said in frustration.
“Well, I was expecting vistors.” A voice said.
They all turned around and gasped. Orochimaru was standing before them with a cold smile on his face.
“Pakkun, Thank you. But Its time for you to go.” Kakashi said with a look of determination.
“Got it.” Pakkun said, then poofed away.
“So, where’s Mizuki?” Gaara said as he took a step forward.
“Why would I tell you that?” Orochimaru said with a laugh, but then frowned. “I can tell that I’m no match for all of you, so I’ll have to stall you. I’ve been waiting to use this, anyway.”
Orochimaru created several hand seals, and then clapped his hands together.
“Summoning: Impure World Resurrection!” He shouted.
The ground shook, and a piece of the ground cracked, followed by a dark casket shooting out of the ground.
“Reanimation.” Kakashi said, suddenly revealing his Sharingan. “I hear you have to sacrifice one of your own men to use that forbidden jutsu…So…Who was it?”
“After Kabuto actually managed to heal my arms, he became of no use to me.” Orochimaru said laughing.
“You’re sick.” Neji said, activating his Byakugan.
Suddenly, the casket opened, revealing a tall man with a sword perched on his back, and his mouth covered up in cloth.
“Zabuza?!” Kakashi and Naruto exclaimed together. Orochimaru laughed and disappeared under the waterfall while shouting, “Have fun!”
“Naruto, Neji, Gaara.” Kakashi said. “I’ll deal with him. You follow Orochimaru. Be careful.”
“Yes sir!” They all yelled, and then zoomed off to the waterfall.
“Well Zabuza, it seems I’ll have to whoop you again…”
*fight begins*