We’re going to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens this afternoon. Don’t tell me! I don’t know what to expect. I said, don’t tell me! The internet has been pretty good about keeping the secrets and surprises, and I’ve been careful to avoid just about every possible avenue for a spoiler to sneak through. What did I say? I haven’t even seen the trailers or looked closely at the poster. I’m not listening! But still, some hints and clues have gotten past my defenses. Nothing specific. Just the sense that there are a number of tributes and allusions to the original. That should be fun, if it’s done right. But what I’d like is if it turns out that Luke hasn’t become a version of Obi-wan or of Yoda, he’s Mace Windu, the most badass Jedi ever---don’t forget. Mace had Darth Sidius whupped. It was only because Anakin ambushed him that Mace didn’t finish Sidius off and end the revenge of the Sith right there. I want Luke that powerful and that mean. So here’s the scene I’d like to see, an homage to Obi-wan and Vader’s duel aboard the Death Star, with Luke confronting whichever new character has turned out to be the one who’s gone over to the dark side and become the reboot’s new ultimate bad guy.
Bad Guy: I've been waiting for you, Luke Skywalker. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master.
Luke: Only a master of evil, Bad Guy Whose Name I Can’t Say Because That Would Be A Spoiler.
They set to it. Light sabers clash. Luke seems to be getting the worst of it but he recovers and they fight to a standstill, their sabers locked, just as it was with Obi-wan and Vader.
Bad Guy: Your powers are weak, old man.
Luke: You can't win, Bad Guy. If you strike me down, I shall become more...Oh, fuck it. I’m Luke Skywalker. You strike me down, I become more powerful than you can possibly imagine. I strike you down, you’re just dead.
Bad Guy: Aaagh!
Luke: May the Force forget you.