There was a bang from outside.
“Good grief! Must we hit every pothole on the road, Drumknott?”
“I’m sorry, sir, but it appears that her ladyship cannot even now control the bandits around the Wilinus Pass. She has a culling every so often, but I’m afraid this is the least dangerous route.”
There was a shout outside, followed by more banging. Vetinari blew out his reading lamp moments before a ferocious-looking individual pushed the point of a crossbow bolt to the glass of the carriage, which was now in darkness, and said, “Just you come out here with all your valuables or it’ll be the worse for you, okay! No tricks now! We’re assassins!’
Lord Vetinari put down the book he’d been reading, sighed and said to Drumknott, “It appears, Drumknott, that we have been hijacked by assassins. Isn’t that…nice.”
And now Drumknott had a little smile. ”Oh, yes, how nice, sir. You always like meeting assassins. I won’t get in your way, sir.”
Vetinari pulled his cloak around him and stepped out of the coach and said, “There is no reason for violence, gentlemen. I will give you everything I have…”
And it was no more than two minutes later that his lordship climbed back up into the coach and signaled for the driver to carry on as if nothing had happened.
After a while, and out of sheer curiosity, Drumknott said, “What happened this time, my lord? I didn’t hear anything.”
Beside him, Lord Vetinari said, “Neither did they, Drumknott. Dear me, it’s such a waste. One wonders they don’t learn to read. Then they’d recognize the crest on my coach, which would have enlightened them!”
As the coach got up to what might be considered an erratic kind of speech, and, after some thought, Drumknott said, “But your crest, sir, is black on a black background and it’s a very dark night.”
“Ah, yes, Drumknott” Lord Vetinari replied, with what passed as a smile, “Do you know, I hadn’t thought of that.”
---from Raising Steam by Terry Pratchett.