Posted Thursday night, February 22, 2018.
Hawkeye Pierce (Alan Alda) in one of my favorite episodes of M*A*S*H, “Officer of the Day”, in which Hawkeye refuses to make his rounds as O.D. with a gun in his holster. The O.D. on the armband, according to Hawkeye, stands for Olivia de Havilland.
The teacher in our house---Mr Mannion as he’s known in various classrooms. Oliver Mannion as he’s known and celebrated here on the blog.---did not take kindly to the Republicans’ idea that the way to prevent school shootings is to arm the teachers. Although he’s not formally certified yet, Oliver is a teacher. Last semester he did his student teaching, and already this semester he’s had three substitute gigs. He graduates in May, and then watch his smoke. But that’s figurative smoke, like the exhaust from a racing car, not literal smoke from a gun barrel. Hearing that the President and other Republican politicians in the pocket of the NRA think it’s a good idea for him and his colleagues to go to school strapped, he was moved to paraphrase one Hawkeye Pierce who had similar feelings about doctors carrying guns---it goes against everything he stands for. Pace Hawkeye, Oliver said he will not carry a gun:
When I got into teaching, I had a very clear understanding with the Department of Education: no guns.
I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash-and-carry, carry me back to Old Virginie, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun.
Oliver, by the way, teaches elementary school. The oldest students he’d be carrying a gun around are 11.