Punished for coffee

Long time since I’ve reported on the doings at Barnes and Noble and here I’m checking in at last to whine about having my feelings hurt by a clerk.  Ok.  Not my feelings.  My vanity.

College aged barista one of those types of clerks who can’t be helpful or friendly enough to the customer ahead of you but who for some reason decide to hate you on sight.  Serving the young man in front of me his bottled water took five full minutes because there was much about that water and his method of paying for it---all in coins---that had to be discussed and laughed over.  In other words, they were flirting.  Which I found amusing.  I’m one of those old guy types who doesn’t think youth is wasted on the young.  They have it because they know what to do with it and I enjoy seeing them put it to use.

But when he stepped away from the counter and I stepped up to place my order the barista’s up until that moment broad and pretty smile disappeared and her eyes went dead and her voice went flat.  She paused significantly before she said, “What can I get you, sir?”  and there was a pointedness to that sir that put me in my place, which was that of someone who had no good excuse for making her stand there and say stupid things like, “What can I get you, sir?” and if I had half a brain I would have known to reply, “Nothing.  Nevermind.  Sorry to have bothered you,” and slunk away.

But I ordered a cup of coffee anyway.

“Are you a Barnes and Noble member, sir?”  Again the barb on the sir as if she wanted to add, “You’re just the type who would be a member.”

She took my money, without appearing to think I was insulting her unduly, but she did not serve me the coffee.  She called out to the other barista for him to fetch it and walked away.  No think you, sir.  No good night, sir.  And no sign that it cost her any effort to dismiss me from her thoughts.

I wonder what I was being punished for.

For not being young and good looking like the guy who bought the water with quarters?   For his not having known to stick around to continue what she thought they had started?  For being a customer and therefore part of the reason she had to work on a Saturday night?  For being inconsiderate enough to make her do her job with only ten minutes left on her shift?  For existing at a moment when it was inconvenient to her to acknowledge my existence?

That’s generally the reason most of us find other people annoying.  They insist that they exist at times when it’s more convenient for us to pretend that they don’t.

Comments

[joel hanes]

If you hadn't been there, she'd have been able to spend ten more minutes flirting with the young guy in front of you.
Which she'd rather do that wait on you.

[mac macgillicuddy]

Did you at least get the senior discount?

[Larkspur]

Every once in a while something like this happens to me. Every once in a while I try to figure it out. A few years ago, for example, I left one job for a slightly better job nearby, and some of my co-workers were very pleased for me. One, a staff attorney, was very thoughtful and gave me a modest gift card for Crate & Barrel. It was kind of her because I was fucking dirt poor at the time.

So I went to Crate & Barrel and bought four soup bowls, some white stoneware Italian thingies that were very pretty. I estimated that the purchase would use up the gift card and I'd only have to part with a little actual cash.

The young clerk actually smirked at me as she rang up the sale, kind of an eye-rolling thing, like "Can you believe this?" It stung, just a little, on account of how very conscious I was about being a big ol' middle-aged failure.

But this time I stopped and looked at her real closely, and asked quietly, "Is there some kind of problem here?" And she backed the hell off. She knew exactly what she'd been doing, she got it that I noticed, and she backed off.

So your cup of coffee is all drunk up, and the moment's gone, but seriously, now and then it's kind of good to press the issue, quietly, one on one.

[scribbler 50]

I'm with Larkspur, Lance, wish you had pushed back. Wish you had smiled at the gal and in a very civil tone said, "Ya' know what, miss, never mind. Sorry to have intruded on your evening," and walked away. You feel better (even though you have to go elsewhere for your fix) she gets the message and is left to ponder her bad behavior. (If these types are capable of "ponder".)

As to why she did it, who knows? It's any one of those excellent reasons you cited.

[KLG]

I'm with Larkspur. Call them on their nonsense once in a while. But I also remember what my wife told me some time ago: Look all you want, honey, but you need to remember that they don't look back anymore!

[diav]

Young people never realize that they too will be "old" one day.

[Janelle Dvorak]

Feel free to stop by any time at our house for a cup of joe. Your wit and charm would be recompense enough.

I get especially narked when I am making a purchase and clerks are carrying on personal conversations around me. Yes, they'll take my money, but no, they won't recognize I'm human.

[Zach]

Hey Lance -- You were being punished for witnessing her open flirtation and waste of company time.. Now that we're old, we look like their bosses.

What happened was that you were subject to preemptive hostility, which like fear barking in a dog was a way to try and drive you off before you decide to get her in trouble with her *real* boss. Kids do this all the time, please dont take it personal.

Its part of the youthful bad judgement that is REALLY not wasted on the young, its how some kids learn.. at least the spoiled, pretty ones in malls. The next quasi-codger she does this to will escalate to her boss, and ruin her day; the complaint after that will abbreviate her barista career. But is sure sucks being part of somebody elses actuarial curve, when what you were looking for was a pleasant (or at least neutral) cup of damned morning joe.