Ok, I'm an old fuddy duddy who spends his time in his basement working on his model trains, so you'll have to explain it to me slowly and with patience. What exactly is a cougar?
If you're a cougar, and I called you a cougar, would you be flattered or would I get my face slapped? My guess is that if you would slap my face you aren't a cougar even if you are.
Apparently cougars are attractive single women of a certain age, but I don't know what that age is. Also apparently not all attractive single women of a certain age are cougars. What's the difference?
Who thought that name up? Who thought it was sexy? How are cougars like cougars? Are they big and cat-like? Are they always on the prowl? Do they lie in wait up on rocks in mountain passes for passing big horn sheep and antelope or drop from tree branches on unsuspecting white tail deer? That suggests cougars are something else besides single, attractive, and of a certain age, possibly dangerous. Do other non-cougar women like them? Do they want to be like them?
Isn't the male equivalent of a cougar a fifty year old guy with plugs, a spray-on tan, a red sports car, and hefty child support payments?
Is the cougar phenomenon a good thing? Good for whom? Men? Women? Porn Studio Executives? Thirty and forty something guys who are tired of the snickers of the twenty years olds they've been hitting on and have learned that one advantage of being with a cougar is that older women have learned to be kinder and more tolerant and save their snickering for the ladies' room?
Slate thinks I should be interested in cougars enough to watch this video, Cougars Gone Wild. Excuse me. I'm going to do that now. Solely in the interest of research. Then it's back to the basement. I'm building a candy store for Mannionville Junction.
Updated in solidarity with Jon Stewart, Fellow Reddenbacher:
A too young to be a cougar reader sent me this one.
|The Daily Show With Jon Stewart||Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c|