From my inner Clark Griswald:
Can someone explain how it's possible for strings of Christmas lights and extension cords, each carefully and individually rolled up at the end of last year's holiday season and placed in separate spots in storage boxes, manage to tangle themselves all up while just sitting motionless and untouched in the attic for 11 months.
Second question. What law of physics requires that two strands of lights removed from the box and disentangled and then carefully laid out well apart from each other on the floor or lawn while you go in search of the ladder must be twined up together like nightcrawlers in a tin can by the time you return with the ladder?

And if you use colored lights, no matter how carefully you've staggered the colors, the girth of next year's tree will be just enough bigger or smaller to cause all of the same color to line up in the same spots.
Posted by: Jennifer | Monday, December 03, 2007 at 05:01 PM
Um ... it's the "magic of Christmas."
Posted by: Wren | Monday, December 03, 2007 at 06:44 PM
Smart ass answer: Elves
Helpful answer: I feel your pain. In the post-Christmas 75 percent off sale at Target/Walmart, buy a bunch of those green plastic reels to store your lights. They actually work. You can usually get 2-3 strings of mini-lights on one reel. Makes next year's job go much faster. We store about 30 strings of lights this way.
Posted by: ellen | Monday, December 03, 2007 at 06:56 PM
Does one begin to see the value in "bah, humbug"?
Posted by: bob | Monday, December 03, 2007 at 09:10 PM
It's fun to gaslight Daddy.
Posted by: velvet goldmine | Tuesday, December 04, 2007 at 07:53 AM
Light strings? What about green outdoor extension cords? Put them in a bin and they seem to spend spring, summer and fall in embraces that can take an afternoon to unwind. And why is it that no matter how many 3 into 2 converters you buy, they are never around the next year.
Posted by: Exiled in New Jersey | Tuesday, December 04, 2007 at 08:14 AM
And why is it that the lights that were so carefully strung on the eave of the house and worked so beautifully one night, refuse to come on the next night, even though nothing has changed except they were turned off before bed time last night? Why is it that the ones that were hardest to put up are always the first to cause problems?
As for how the strings and cords get all messed up, it the rotation of the earth. As the earth turns the breeze picks up the strings and cords and they get wrapped around one another. Or maybe that's not the answer but you should have heard my first theory, it may have been worse. ;)
Posted by: pissed off patricia | Tuesday, December 04, 2007 at 11:26 AM
All these theories miss the obvious answer (All Hail Occam's Razor!): the strings are alive!
Posted by: Linkmeister | Tuesday, December 04, 2007 at 04:11 PM
Physicists Tackle Knotty Puzzle
btw, I found your blog yesterday via a link (from Shakespeare's Sis?) to your Tinfoil hat series--love it!
Posted by: Meg | Wednesday, December 05, 2007 at 07:09 AM
"What law of physics requires that two strands of lights removed from the box and disentangled and then carefully laid out well apart from each other on the floor or lawn while you go in search of the ladder must be twined up together like nightcrawlers in a tin can by the time you return with the ladder?"
Why of course, Virginia, it's the same law that says you're being punished for putting up lights that are such a fucking waste of energy!
Posted by: millie wink | Wednesday, December 05, 2007 at 02:41 PM