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Ken Muldrew

Our dog, who is about 10 months old now, came from a mother who is mostly black lab and an unknown father (though now we can be fairly certain that he had a lot of shepherd and rottweiler in him). Being fans of hybrid vigor, we figured he would be pretty clever, and so he is, but his luck, while much better than Chance's, hasn't held up quite as well. One day this summer he was left alone in the house due to the rain that was falling outside. I guess the rain didn't upset him as much as I thought, because he decided that he would be better off outside. He must have spent a while looking around before deciding that the drywall was the weakest point in the defences surrounding him. This was a clever deduction, as I'm sure he had little trouble digging his way through. Unfortunately for him, he ended up in the hall closet and that's where he abandoned his escape attempt. Clever dogs can be a lot of work.


Yeah, I had a yellow Lab that...unlucky. You can call it that. We called her The Dumb Blonde.

Ran under the F350 diesel, chasing a squirrel, on leash. I let go rather than risking brain damage (on me).

Fought her way to the part of the pond that's over her head, with a black Lab outweighing her by 40 pounds, only to realize that...she'd forgotten to learn to swim as a pup.

Her last water rescue--she never provided one, only received them--was from the pool. We moved the non-buoyant retriever to the Southwest and she walked onto the solar pool cover, requiring me to dive beneath it, collar the dog, and shove her over my head onto the pool deck while fighting off hundreds of pounds of plastic.

My current dog, while a retriever, is no genius. However, she's a crack swimmer and once brought me a live baby bird in her mouth, feathers unruffled.

I do have a bumper sticker about her: My Golden Retriever Can Lick Your Honor Student.


Your comment screening technology, at the end of a post including some items of interest to the visually impaired, is a cruel joke.


I had to take my dog to the vet today, ostensibly for dental work. Turned out the teeth were fine, but there was a large growth on one jawbone and two large growths elsewhere on her body. No bets on whether any of those were cancerous.

I can't pick her up till 4:30pm. That means I'll have a groggy unhappy dog in the car during Friday rush hour.



I hate the comment screening thing and it is unfair. I've complained about it to Typepad. But if I don't use it I spend an hour every day deleting comment spam.

Thanks for your comments though. I thought Labs were born swimmers. Guess not.


Sorry to hear about your dog. What's the prognosis? Let us know.


Well, Tigger is crashed on the family room floor, presumably due to antibiotics and anesthesia.

We won't know the biopsy results till next week. She's got a boatload of staples holding her skin together in seven different locations, and she sure isn't hungry. That doesn't worry me, but she hasn't shown any interest in going outside to relieve herself either, and that does. I guess I'll have to drag her out later.


You have obviously mixed up Labradors with golden retrievers, who are indeed the smartest dogs in the world, which is why they're used a lot more often as guide dogs, when they want to be, that is.

But that's okay. Everyone over here mixes them up too. I wish I had a dog bone for every time someone's said "Look at the cute Labrador!" Even our dog food, made for Labradors, has a photo of a golden on it.

My golden wants me to come outside now. Must be a broken bottle.


Um, does it make me a bad person that I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself?


All veterinary technicians know that, if a bad thing can happen to a Lab, it will. Mostly involving eating things that they shouldn't. Often repeatedly.

This can also be observed in animals named "Lucky."


That poor dog was doomed from the moment his people named him "Chance." I'm sure he'd have been much smarter if they'd named him "Einstein."

But ...hmmm. Maybe not. I'm trying to imagine Einstein hanging upside down on a chain link fence, baffled look on his face, and I just can't.

Great post, Lance.

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