I'm not going to see The Simpsons Movie.
Not until it comes out on DVD, at any rate, when by popular demand around here it'll be a feature for family movie night and I won't be able to avoid it.
The blonde took the boys to see it yesterday. The teenager waited up until I got home from work last night to tell me all about it. "You've got to see it, dad," he told me. "It's hilarious!"
I sent him straight to bed before he could say more than that.
I have to tell you this, and I'll understand if you never want to read this blog again after I do.
I don't like the Simpsons.
I never have.
I hate the animation. The drawings are ugly and the color scheme is repulsive.
I hate the sound of all the characters' voices, except Maggie's.
My favorite character is Sideshow Bob precisely because he wants to kill Bart.
The plots of individual episodes sound funny.
But whenever I watch them I don't laugh.
There are days when I am sympathetic to the worldveiw behind the humor, that all human beings, except for one jazz-loving, saxophone-playing little girl and her genius baby sister, are self-deluded boobs driven by vanity, appetite, greed, laziness, and stupidity, but sitting through joke after joke after joke driving this point home makes me want to spend a week at Disneyworld where I'd do nothing but ride through It's a Small World over and over again.
Let me see if I can put this better.
I got it.
I HATE THE SIMPSONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've said it.
I feel better.
And ready to hear it.
Was it funny?
Over at newcritics, Dennis Perrin says it is; not as funny as some of the best episodes, but funnier than 99 per cent of the current Hollywood comedies.
Now this was a great cartoon! Best news I've had in a week. The Shamus reports that the original Popeye cartoons are coming out on DVD tomorrow.
Well, blow me down!