Summer movies and why it's Ken Levine's fault I won't be going anywheres near the cineplex between now and September

Ken Levine has a way of summing up movies that:

1.) Makes me think, Boy, I'll be giving that one the skip.

2.) Makes me think, Boy, I'm glad I'm giving that one the skip.

3.) Makes me think, I think I would rather read Ken Levine summing up movies than actually go to any movies.

I'm guessing that studio heads are meeting right now to put a contract out on him.

A sampling of Ken's sins:

CAPTIVITY – Perfect casting:  Elisha Cuthbert who’s been kidnapped so many times in 24 she can’t ride in a car unless she's in the trunk.

HAIRSPRAY – Movie version of the musical version of the movie. John Travolta plays a fat 1960’s housewife, reprising his role from BATTLEFIELD EARTH.

RESCUE DAWN – Christian Bale and Steve Zahn escape a brutal Laotian POW camp where they are beaten and tortured and fight for their lives in the murderous unforgiving jungle with no hope of rescue. German director, Werner Herzog decides to give comedy a try.

Lots more, in three parts.  One, Two, Three.

Your turn:  What are you looking forward to seeing this summer?

Oddly enough, I'm not looking forward to any of the big sequels I thought I'd be looking forward to---Pirates of the Caribbean, Spider-man 3, or Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix---but I am looking forward to the sequel I'd have thought I wouldn't care beans about, Fantastic Four Rise of the Silver Surfer.  I refuse to believe it's just because of Jessica Alba.  Must be because the Silver Surfer is really cool.

(Warning:  That picture of Alba may not be safe for work.  For some of you, it is definitely not safe for looking at when wives or lovers are nearby.  Unless you are lucky enough that she enjoys sharing your tastes in female pulchritude.)

I think I'd also like to see Evan Almighty and  Ratatouille.  Other than that....

Well...

Season Three of Deadwood's coming out on DVD in June.

Comments

[CJColucci]

I have to see the sheep movie!

[Ken Houghton]

Black Sheep has been on my priority list for a while, so that will be one person on each end of the country. So long as they don't recut it for the huge increase expected because 15 bloggers loved the idea of a bunch of Canadian-Australians talking about "mofoing sheep on the mofoing plain."

Adultery, coveting thy neighbor's wife, not honouring thy father and mother, being willing to take the L-rd's name in Vain, stealing to support the lifestyle required(?), killing(?) (Kuniva??). I need details on which of those four or five commandments to see if we're on the same page, but that still doesn't mean the movie needs to be seen.

After all three parts, though, there are at least two or three (YMMV on "Ratatouille") that look as if they're likely to provide more than just two-plus hours of not paying for your own air conditioning.

[Nom de plume]

The sheep movie sounds intriguing. But, I have another question, off topic.

Why do you use "anywheres" in your headline instead of "anywhere"?

I would use "anywhere."

Would that be technically incorrect? Just curious.

[Kevin Wolf]

Yeah, I was following Ken's summer movie previews too. Good fun.

As for the actual movies, not so much. I had been looking forward to Spidey because I enjoyed the other two, but the word is not good. Even a geek pal of mine called it awful and said flat out, do NOT go to see it.

So, my list is empty. Hey, I've got plenty of books and jazz records, so I do not mind.

[Orc]

That picture of Ms. Alba is suspiciously perfect. Suspiciously because it looks like it's airbrushed, but she's got some blemishes on her body. If it's not airbrushed, that's a terrifyingly unblemished woman, and if it's airbrushed the state of the art for airbrushing has gotten very good in the past few years.

[Tad]

Yeah, that girl is hot. I just saw the movie and she is amazing.