Another advertisement for myself as genius blogger.
Chris Matthews has been obsessing over the possibility that Bill Clinton's been running around on Hillary again. Matthews doesn't seem to have any evidence that the Big Dawg's snapped his leash. He just assumes the Clinton must be getting some because that's what Bill does.
If Matthews was all alone dropping quaters in the slot in this mental booth in the back of the sex shop of his mind, his fantasizing about an ex-President's sex life would be dismissable as evidence of the public unravelling of a not exactly well-knit mind.
But Matthews isn't a lonely guy in a trench coat back in the booth. He's the barker out on the sidewalk in front of the club handing out flyers to passersby and crying, "Naked naked naked naked!"
Inside, the paying customers include half the Washington Press Corps. They're there to watch the live naked girls re-enact Monica flashing her thong and dancing with her cigar and impersonate all the other women who threw themselves at Bill or at whom Bill threw himself.
We all know by now that many of the celebrity journalists and the celebrity journalist-wannabes in DC who are paid to write about the most important political issues of our times are bored to tears by the most important political issues of our time. They would much rather write about movies, sports, racy novels, or reality TV, anything that features lots of real celebrities misbehaving in sexy ways. Since they can't write about those things, because, one: it wouldn't pay them as much, and two: they aren't good enough writers or diligent enough journalists to do it right---sportswriters actually have to work hard at what they do, they aren't allowed to just cover the conversations at their own lunch tables---they write about politics as if they are writing about movies, sports, racy novels, etc.
They write gossip and call it biography.
Bill Clinton is a gossip columnist's dream.
It's been asked over and over throughout the liberal blog world why the Media doesn't obsess over the tawdry sex lives of the likes of John McCain, Rudy Giuliani, and Newt Gingrich the way they obsess over Bill Clinton's.
Simple answer to simple question: Because they like those guys and they hate Bill.
Journalists have always thought of sex as synonymous with scandal and scandal ends political careers. You aren't going to go out of your way to start scandals about politicians whose careers you want to carry them into the White House.
That's the simple answer, and it's true, but it's only part of the story.
Scandal---sex---sells newspapers and advertising time. But only if the sex is actually sexy.
Nobody writes about Rudy's, Newt's, and St John's tawdry sex lives because nobody wants to read about Rudy's, Newt's, or St John's sex life. These are not guys you want to picture naked in the sack with a babe. They are creepy. They are ugly and creepy. They are ugly and creepy and dull.
Bill is big, tall, strong and handsome. He was movie star handsome. He is President handsome now. But the Beltway Insiders aren't covering now.
They are still covering then.
As I wrote a few weeks back, the Washington Press Corps has always had a problem seeing Bill and Hillary Clinton as they are. When Clinton was first running for President, when he and Hillary were in their mid-forties, you'd have thought from they way they were covered that they were in their late 20s. You could hardly tell the difference between the way they were portrayed from the way Dennis and Meg or Madonna and Sean were portrayed.
I think that this is because most of the Beltway Insiders are Baby Boomers, a generation that, since, oh, about 1972, has had a particularly difficult time admitting its age.
When the generation's advance guard began to enter middle-age, it looked as though the Boomers were not going to age gracefully. They were going to jog, cross-train, weight-lift, vitamin-pop, diet, dye, Rograine, and surgically make-over their way to perpetual youth and beauty.
When Time, gravity, and cellular degeneration turned out to be too expensive and too physically exhausting to resist, an advertisers and marketers' dream's worth of Boomers decided to face up to the fact that they were getting old by not facing up to it.
They decided that if they couldn't have the body of a 20 year old when they were 50, they could have the mental states of one. They could pretend to themselves that they were as young as they felt. The result has turned out not to be a generation of lined but still lean and handsome rock and rollers but crowds of fat, gray haired lawyers and stockbrokers and college professors holding up their cigarette lighters at Rolling Stone concerts.
Writing and yakking on the tube about the Clintons' sex life is a way of pretending that it's still 1992, and, as I've said, back in 1992 the Media were pretending it was still 1972.
Ironically, the Clintons themselves have aged, and let themselves age, beautifully. One of the secrets of their success is that neither one has tried to pretend that they aren't getting old. They go about being, and are apparently content to be, exactly what they are. Hillary Clinton is a sixty year old United States Senator, and conducts herself accordingly. Bill Clinton is a sixty-year old statesman and world leader and conducts himself accordingly. He is on his way to succeeding Jimmy Carter in the job Carter invented, Great Ex-President.
Rather than speculate on whether or not there's another Monica in his life and how that might be a liability for his wife's Presidential ambitions, the Media Insiders might tell us about the actual work he does and how that work is part of the reason Hillary is as popular as she is.
But that's not sexy.