No, not Laura Petrie!

The lyrically-minded Kevin Wolf, who has a touch of the poet, even if he doesn't believe it about himself, admits to having had the same reaction to reading about my dream about Rob and Laura Petrie as I had while I was dreaming it.  Learning that I dreamed that both Rob and Laura had had affairs, Kevin cried out:

"No, not Laura!"

Neither of us minded about Rob's straying, but the idea of Laura in the arms of another man broke our hearts.

This is not the usual male double standard.  We don't think it's ok for husbands to run around, but a crime against human nature if a wife has an affair.

We feel personally betrayed by Laura, as if she was our wife or girlfriend and we had her on a pedestal only to find out our Galatea doesn't love us back.

Can't speak for Kevin, but I have to admit that in some deep, disturbed, delusional recess of my imagination I am married to Laura.  That spot's right next door to the place in my head where I'm a cowboy and around the corner from where I'm a 22 year old center fielder for the New York Mets.

But when you think about it, objectively, it is perfectly within character for Laura to have an affair, because she is human and human beings have desires and passions, wants and needs that can't always be contained within the bounds of a marriage or a relationship.

Most everyone who has watched and enjoyed The Dick Van Dyke show has noticed, happily, how sexually into each other Rob and Laura are.  They are wildly in love, and they aren't just affectionate, they are passionate.  Despite the twin beds and the censoring limits of writing for television in the early 1960s, the show's writers and cast made it clear that Rob and Laura did it, a lot, and with gusto.

I can't think of another TV married couple who were so clearly eager for each other, except for Mr and Mrs Cunningham on Happy Days.  But their sexual desire was played purely for laughs.  "Howard!  I'm feeling frisky!"  The joke was how cute it was that the old folks could still get horny just like the teenagers.

The old folks.

Marion Ross, who played Mrs Cunningham, was 46 when the show premiered.  Two years younger than Sharon Stone is now.

Tom Bosely, Mr Cunnigham, was only a year older.

Rob and Laura's chemistry was mainly due to Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore having crushes on each other.  MTM's real-life marriage fell apart during the first season.  I wonder how that affected the dynamic between Laura and Rob.

I read an interview with Mary Tyler Moore a long time ago in which she said that she was jealous of the Van Dykes' marriage.  She loved it that Dick and his wife would stay up late into the night together, talking.

Later I read an interview with Dick Van Dyke in which he admitted that what he and Mrs Van Dyke were staying up late together to do was drink.

No matter.

Rob and Laura were nuts about each other.

Storylines were built around or included the probability that when the commercial break came, Rob and Laura were going to rush off and push the twin beds together.

But other episodes were built around the possibility that one of the two would in fact cheat on the other.

Most of these episodes focused on the potentially betrayed spouse's jealousy, which was played for laughs, and most of them were about Rob being the tempted one, which made sense, given that he worked in show biz while Laura was at home with Richie all day, and Rob was the main character, after all.  But Laura had her temptations.  An old boyfriend, a writing teacher in a night class, Racy Tracy Ratigan, until he showed his true self, a couple of others.  One of them almost doesn't count because the tempter is actually Rob himself, pretending to be an Italian cad on the phone, and Laura knows it all along.  But the possibility that another man could come along and carry her away is very real to both of them.  For Rob, it's a fear.  For Laura, it's a fantasy, but a fantasy that excites her enough to want to act it out with Rob.

Rob's fear isn't mere paranoia, and Laura's fantasy isn't innocent and harmless.

Usually it turns out that there never was a real chance that one or the other would stray, but there is one episode in which Rob is clearly on his way to bumbling into an affair.  Rob and Laura take an art class together and the woman teaching the class falls for Rob and sets out to seduce him, and Rob is so flattered and so attracted and having so much fun that he is on the verge.  He snaps out of it in the nick of time, but it's the teacher's bad timing that saves him, not his superior virtue or superhuman willpower.

The show wasn't reticent about the sex lives of the other main characters either.  Buddy and Pickles' marriage suffered from sexual tensions.  The very married Alan Brady had at least one girlfriend.  And Sally Rogers, although always bemoaning her sorry state as a single woman, made it plain that she was sexually available to the right men with no hint or promise of marriage necessary.

But it was never, ever judgmental.  Adultery was was wrong, people got hurt.  But you never got the feeling that if Rob or Laura, or Buddy or Pickles, or Millie or Jerry had cheated, the writers would have treated it as if the world had come to an end.

I think, given the time, the fact that they brought it up at all showed that the producers had an inclination to forgive.

But a forgiving attitude towards human fallibility was the basis of the show's comedy.

The Dick Van Dyke show was very sophisticated in a number of ways, but one of the most sophisticated things about it was the way it loved its characters when they were at their weakest.  This is Carl Reiner's doing, I'm sure.  He was the show's chief writer as well as its creator.  Reiner has a very different approach to comedy than most sitcom writers who tend to treat human beings when they are weak or messing up as clowns and buffoons.

Reiner understands that when people are in the middle of screwing up and bringing disaster upon themselves they are usually in pain and the reason we laugh at them is because otherwise we would cry.

So, yes, Laura.

She's only human.  Like the rest of us.
_____________________________________________

I've been trying to remember when I first fell in love with Laura Petrie.  I don't think it was when I was a little kid.  Back then I identified so completely with Rob that I just accepted that Laura was the girl for me the way I accepted that when I grew up I would go to work at a typewriter and wear white shirts with narrow black ties. (Yes, that's what I'm wearing now.)  I must have fallen for her later, when I was more mature and wordly and could appreciate what an eyeful the young Mary Tyler Moore was.

So Laura was definitely not my first TV girlfriend.  That would be Mary Anne from Gilligan's Island.

After Mary Ann I think I moved on to Jan Brady.  Yeah, I know, Marcia was the hot one in the miniskirts---and knee socks---but there was something about Jan that kept me watching the Brady Bunch even though I hated it.  Maybe it was the episode when she got glasses.

Now.  Who was your first TV crush?

Comments

[blue girl]

You brought up so many things to comment on in this post.

Mr. and Mrs. Cunningham were *that* young then? Wow.

The thought of Millie having an affair? Pshaw! I always loved Jerry for some reason. He was just "cute" or something. I also loved Sally -- well, I just loved all of them. You're really making me want to get some of these DVDs if they are available.

My first TV crush (no making fun of me) was Vince Van Patten when he was on a show called "Apple's Way." (I think -- I just remember an episode where he was playing tennis with Farrah Fawcet.)

I even had my sister take a picture of me on Christmas morning one year in my brand new Xmas pj's -- after I put on my strawberry lip gloss of course -- so that I could send it to him. I think I was 10 or 11.

My mom never mailed it to him *like she promised to do* -- and I have it now. It's a real hoot.

[Jennifer]

My first tv crush was Tom Jones... I was seven and loved the show, "This is Tom Jones". My mother was even kind enough to let me stay up and watch the entire show which ended well past bedtime. I had to see him whip off that bow tie. Yes, I was in love with Tom even at that tender age. I wanted to prove my love by sending him my Easy Bake Oven... I never did. My crush faded, but I still have a soft spot in my heart for Tom. A friend took me to see him a number of years back... we were in the front row, not the real front row, but chairs that had been put up in front of the front row. Tom dripped on me as he sang. I remember thinking I should have brought my Easy Bake Oven. I still had it and could have just slid it on stage.

After Tom there was a Vincent Van Patten, Rod Taylor (big white shirts... still a fave), Willie Ames on the Swiss Family Robinson series and a number of others who still make me giggle when I think about them.

[Jennifer]

BG!!! Yes, it was indeed "Apple's Way"!!! And yes, I remember the Farrah episode! The Vince crush was a painful one... He now does commercials for Harrah's casinos...

[harry near indy]

when i was in grade school, my folks used to watch the dick van dyke show all the time. i used to watch it, too.

looking back, it was obvious that rob and laura were into each other. and it was very bogus that they had twin beds. but that was before i even thought about sex. like i said, i was in grade school and it was before puberty came.

i used to dig morey amsterdam. to me, buddy sorrell was THE MAN.

my first tv crush was for angela cartwright on make room for daddy. i was at least in first grade, if not younger.

and it was love. i can't remember if i wanted to kiss her. that was back in the day when i thought girls had cooties.

i used to have a crush on julie andrews, too. but she was in movies. i probably got it from seeing mary poppins and the sound of music.

now, after puberty came -- barbara eden as jeannie. there's just something about that harem outfit and her eyes ... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

ok, i'm through.

[Kevin Wolf]

Lance, many thanks for the link.

And not to load it on too much here, but I think for me Laura Petrie was probably my first big TV crush.

After that, only an "older woman" comes to mind: Julie London on Emergency!

I was flabbergasted to learn in later years that the network suits actually limited the number of times Laura Petrie could be seen in capri pants. How stupid! Limiting the best part of the show!

...it loved its characters when they were at their weakest...

One complaint I have with a lot of movies and TV shows - and it seems worse than ever - is that they clearly don't like their own characters, let along love them. That's if they even bother making them characters, not just cardboard cut-outs.

[EmmaJ]

I come from a bit of a younger generation, and my first TV crush has to be John Stamos on Full House. The hair, the Greekness, the whole Elvis schtick- I was in love.

[nothstine]

>Now. Who was your first TV crush?

Very first: Annette Funicello. The changes nature worked on her between the first season and the second introduced me to some of the possibilities of life.

Then Natasha Fatale and Morticia Addams, showing my dim awareness, even at that young age, that sex has a dark side that can be part of the fun.

In my defense, if one is needed, I'm not as big a sucker for femmes fatale as my friend who continues to watch "24" even though he swears it isn't any good anymore--only because he secretly hopes that Nina Myers will turn up again.

bn

[daveminnj]

99. agent 99.
she proved that anything was possible: no matter how big a doofus you might be you could have those
dark eyes gaze into yours......
give me a moment.

[Mudge]

Mine was Laura Petrie. My crush on her was assisted by my hopeless crush on the woman across the street, who resembled MTM in very real ways, as her husband had a resemblance to Dick van Dyke. I remember him coming home trembling one day. I lived in NJ and we had traffic circles. He had been cut off in one, became angry, stopped his car, had an argument with the other man, then punched him (this is 1963 or so..pre road rage?). He was scared to death the police would be at his door any minute. I have always imagined a Dick van Dyke Show episode could have been built around such an incident.

His wife, of the Laura Petrie body and hairdo, was a dish, one of the sexiest women I have ever known. Funny I remember the hair. No women I remember ever wore their hair like Mary Anne, much less Jan Brady.

[Linkmeister]

Might have been Annette. Might even have been Hayley Mills. That would be pre-puberty. Post-puberty? No question. Diana Rigg as Emma Peel.

[Anne Laurie]

My first television crush -- my first crush, I think -- was for Felix the Cat, whose cartoons were being shown on the local channel in the afternoons. He was dark-haired, suave, witty, endlessly creative... Okay, but I was only five years old, and fitting myself into Toon Universe seemed quite as logicallly possible as some of the other stuff my parents were trying to tell me, such as the idea that boys might someday cease to have cooties.

Shortly thereafter, I developed a major crush on the Wicked Witch of the West, but in those days the movie was only broadcast once a year. So I started reading all the Oz books I could find (the first 17, IIRC) which were entertaining but not in the same way. Of course, now I can be sure I wasn't the only one who felt that way, since Gregory McGuire is doing a fine job of turning WICKED into a cottage industry.

[helmut]

I grew up abroad and have herky-jerky memories of childhood TV (usually only from trips back to the US). But I did get The Avengers in Asia. Diana Rigg in tight leather? Man, and I was about 10 years old. And Barbara Feldon (Agent 99) on Get Smart. Those were the two big loves. Oh, and Peggy Fleming, if that counts as a TV love.

[Roxanne]

But Jan Brady was so needy. I think my first celebri-crush was on Bobby Sherman.

[Azbob]

99, definitely was my first love. As i became more sophisticated I turned to Marcia Brady. She was the only reason I watched the show. Honorable mentions go to Sally Fields (I was a young catholic boy then and none of the nuns who taught me looked like her,) Maryanne (I have loved coconut pies ever since) and Speed Racer's girlfriend.

[Rasselas]

In an old Doonesbury, Zonker and his father are talking about tanning competitions and the restrictions thereon. In the last panel, Zonker says, despairingly, "I hate this godless culture."

His father responds: "Me, too. Except for Mary Tyler Moore."

[The Heretik]

Oh my, retro boy. My ex wife, the mother of my children, has been variously described (depending on the hair do)as the spitting image of Diana Rigg, Natalie Wood, and Pat Benatar. Which says what? Oy. Let us leave with the thought that while Uma may have filled the leather, only Diana Rigg could fill the role of Mrs. Peel to full appeal. Even with her advanced years, Diana Rigg could kick Uma Thurman's butt. I will leave you with that thought, LM, and hope that you may find some restful sleep tonight.

[Idyllopus]

Three years of age - first television crush (animated class): Mighty Mouse (was the subject of many drawings)
Six years of age - movie: Roger Mobley in "Emil and the Detectives" (only with the hat on, with the hat off I thought he was dorky)
Ten years of age - first television crush: Michael Parks in "Then Came Bronson"

[Idyllopus]

Correction. Looked it up and I would have been 11 when Bronson first aired in the Spring of 69.

[The Heretik]

Oh, I forgot. Betty Rubble.

[KC45s]

Excellent post. While not disagreeing with a word, let me propose that if Laura Petrie wasn't swinging, her neighbor down the block Elizabeth Montgomery definitely was. In fact, her secret life distracted her so much she didn't notice when her husband turned into an entirely different man.

Let's face it. Sam Stevens hardly needed to stick around the house cleaning all day. One shimmy of the nose scrubbed the floors, dusted the mantlepiece, maybe even installed a new pool. Once a week, sure, there's shopping with Mom or else she turns Darrin into a dancing bear, but what to do the rest of the time? Such a tomato could not stoically endure suburban ennui forever. And clearly Sam knew how to treat a man right. Every time Larry Tate rolled through the door she was there offering to fix a drink. Such a woman would be wasted on Darrin, a neurotic who resented witchcraft.

I know Sam had the nosy neighbors, pardon the term. But The Powers of Darkness could keep Mrs. Kravets busy with, I don't know, a kitchen fire or something, while Sam snuck out for a rendezvous.

[Azbob]

i forgot about that
Samantha rules

[Ted Raicer]

First tv crush? Easy-Mrs. Peel in The Avengers.

[harry near indy]

i read somewhere or heard somewhere -- probably from a dj from one of those whacky morning zoo crews -- that mrs. cunningham and fonzie from happy days were having an affair. at least, that was the subtext.

they probably said that for a laff -- just like some people insinuate that gilligan and the skipper were lovers. when the skipper called gilligan "little buddy," that sounded like a term of endearment.

kc45's comment reminded me of a movie about a bored housewife. but instead of swinging, she was a prostitute during the afternoons.

it was belle du jour, starring catherine deneuve and directed by lius bunuel.

[blue girl]

Samanth Stevens had awesome powers and was absolutely gorgeous. I think I even had a crush on her.

[Exiled in New Jersey]

I kept drawing a blank over early TV days for me, which was the mid-fifties. I know I did not have a crush on Ernie Bilko, or Lucy, or Miss Brooks~~~~Eve Arden's voice more or less said 'grow up little boy'~~~~but then it came to me. Being from Philly, I got to watch Bandstand before it went national. My god, I saw it back in the days of Bob Horn, who was sent up on a morals charge leaving Dick Clark in charge. Dick would bring on Little Richard, and I would pray his act would be done before Dad walked in and made some snide comment.

Dick also hosted the record reviews. "I like the beat, Dick. You can dance to it. I give it an 85.' Well, I can also recall some of the girls that would introduce themselves on that show. There was a blond, Barbara, from South Philly that really drew my eye.

Now I may have been 13 or 14 by that time, so it's not like there was a great age difference, and Ronny C, who was in my classes in high school, used to go to Bandstand every day, so he could have told her about me, but he kept her for himself. Then again he dressed just right, wearing rat-stabber shoes and had great hair and talked a mile a minute. I would have stuttered every word had I met her.

There something Frostian in this story, of paths not taken. 46th & Market Street was only a short El ride away but I never got there.

Oh by the way, I preferred Mary Richards and her crew at the station to Laura Petrie. The characters there never changed their personna to fit the plots, unlike most sitcoms. To my dying day I will hear Mr. Grant telling Mary 'You've got spunk, Mary......I hate spunk.'

[mac macgillicuddy]

"But when you think about it, objectively, it is perfectly within character for Laura to have an affair, because she is human and human beings have desires and passions, wants and needs that can't always be contained within the bounds of a marriage or a relationship."

Um, Lance...Laura is a CHARACTER! She's not really real. And even though when you close the kitchen cabinets the dishes remain in there, when you turn off the TV, those little people in the box really DO disappear.

Having said that, I always suspected Laura had something going on with Jerry the dentist.

[mac macgillicuddy]

OK, the above is another comment made before I actually read ALL of your post. So now I get to the end and find out that all of this was just a lead-in to the question about the crush.

Thought I'd weigh in: I never had a crush on anyone on TV. The screen was too small. I liked the big screen. But I'm not going to say who represented my first Hollywood fantasy, because that would be undignified. Let's just say a goat was involved.

[Jennifer]

Mac- Shirley Temple as Heidi???

[Jennifer]

It wasn't the goat was it??? You do know that goat was merely playing a character, right?

[Blue Wren]

What an interesting post! I hadn't thought of The Dick Van Dyke Show in so many years it's just not funny. I loved Rob and Laura both -- Rob for his goofiness, of course, and his sweetness. And Laura because I wanted to grow up just like her. I never had a crush on either one of them, but I too noticed those twin beds and thought them very strange. Didn't married people sleep in the same bed?
My first real crush was on Bobby Sherman as Jeremy Bolt in "Here Come the Brides." Looking back, I have no idea if he was an even passible actor, but at the time, his eyes, his dimples, his smile, and that disarming stutter just did me in. It really wasn't Bobby Sherman I loved -- it was his character. Later it was Michael Cole of "The Mod Squad." He was incredibly, impossibly hot.

[mac macgillicuddy]

Jennifer,

Shirley Temple??? I'm not THAT old!

[helmut]

To turn the question around, Pippi Longstockings still makes me cringe.

[Azbob]

well, you have all fell in the trap of telling your age. i can't believe you womanfolk would fall for this? I did like the Avenger's girl too, but 99 was better.

[Azbob]

This question has brought up a lot issues I have never dealt with. Did I have some secret sex love for Hazel? I am going to take a shower now...

[Jennifer]

Sorry Mac- Just trying to get your goat...

[Night Bird]

David Soul in "Here Comes the Brides"

[Uncle Merlin]

Hey Mac: was it Daisy in the scene from "Everything you always wanted to know about Sex"?

-Unc M ducking for cover............

truth be told,,my first memorable crush was Clint Walker in Cheyenne, there was a scene with him in a bathtub one week that is still burned into my memory!

[Small Axe]

First ever? Cindy Brady, the youngest one in curls. She must have been about my age. She was so clean and shiny.

Years later, though, it was Mallory from Family Ties, who never seemed to appreciate her true worth.

[Realist]

Miss Nancy from Romper Room, of course.

[daveminnj]

oh, that's right-the three sisters from
petticoat junction- my first(alright! my ONLY) foursome.

[mac macgillicuddy]

Jennifer, that was b-a-a-a-ahh-d!

UM-As I said, I don't think it would be dignified to tell and, also, I'm pretty sure if I did tell, there are people who would hold it over me forever!

[Nanuk]

Michael Landon as Little Joe on Bonanza. I was 5.
My sister, a wise 11-year-old, was strictly a Pernell Roberts woman.

[Jennifer]

Mac- at least I didn't call you an old goat...

Uncle Merlin- when I first read your comment I thought you said, Clint Howard! AHHHHHH!

[Uncle Merlin]

eeewwwuuuu Clint Howard??? PUH Leese Jennifer. He's a good character actor but he's no Clint Walker...........hmmm I wonder if Gunsmoke & Cheyenne are out on dvd hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

[Bruce Arthurs]

What's with the people naming Jan Brady, or Marcia Brady?

Jeez, folks, FLORENCE HENDERSON (Hubbah!) was on that show!

Adult women rule. That's why the sexiest woman currently on tv is Reba McEntire. (Of course, I can't actually watch her show. My wife gets annoyed when I start licking the television screen.)

[mac macgillicuddy]

"My wife gets annoyed when I start licking the television screen.)"

Regarding undignified...I rest my case!

['As You Know' Bob]

Another vote for Diana Rigg as Emma Peel.
I was 11? 12?
It's been nearly 40 years, and I don't think I'm over her yet.

[Janna Watson]

My first crush was not on TV, but an older classmate: Kurtis Millage. But that's besides the point: David Cassidy was awesome as Keith Partridge, while Rob Petrie represented the sweetest husband in all of TV sitcoms. And yes, it was obvious that Rob and Laura did it a lot... even though they had twin beds. Those beds were due to the censors in 1961. The best shows don't have to show everything.. they give you the benefit of imagination. And while others claim that the Rob-Laura sexual relationship was only implied, it was obvious to the viewer who begged to differ.