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I think this conflation of "theory" with "guess" is, in fact, extremely useful. There are few errors in life that mark someone so plainly as an absolute head-in-a-bag idiot. It is as good as a secret handshake.

You have me thinking of a great Inspector Morse episode some time back, where a letter-writer mixed up "its" and "it's," prompting Morse to describe him as "illiterate" with a tone of contempt you'd expect to hear reserved for the murderer.


You captured it well Lance :) This adminstration is all about corruption of language and meaning (Orwellian to say the least). Remember the clear skies initiative? The one that reduced pollution greatly? It turns out they stopped counting tons of pollutants, that way they can crank up the poisons, etc...

Anyhow, getting back to the point here, they are now confusing simple folks on what a theory in scientific terms means. A short while back when there was talk about global warming, I heard on republican talking head (if only I could remember who that gold star sell out was) say something "how dare the scientists be so arrogant as to think they know better?" I was not sure whether to laugh or cry at that moment. Of course the corporate news reader did not challenge a ridiculous statement like that...

mac macgillicuddy

I feel compelled to mention, also, the abomination "its'" -- which appears only to be a word in college freshman English composition classes.

Anyway, I'd heard that the Prez came out endorsing "intelligent design," but I didn't actually read any of the reports beyond a headline because -- what the heck is the president of the United States, or of any political body for that matter, doing commenting on -- much less "endorsing" -- scientific or religious ideas? This really is taking the so-called Bully Pulpit too far.

As if we have all been waiting for our government to give us permission to believe in whatever we believe in.

Exiled in NJ

I decided to test Mannion's postulant, or was it a corollary, about gravity. I was to be the observer; the dog would take the flying leap, but she decided it was too hot, so I had to settle for Mrs. O'Bannon's pig. I put it in the back of the Outback, drove to the overhang, got it out, threw some chickenbacks into space and watched my porcine friend leap after them. You won't believe this, Lance, but to my amazement, the pig sprouted wings and proceeded to swoop down and grab my crab bait and flew off with it. I am sure pigs flying had something to do with Intelligent Design, but I can't get through to Mr. Rove to tell him. His line is always busy.

The Viscount LaCarte

The Viscountess wants a bumper sticker that says:

"Evolution is Theory.
Creation is MYTH!"

She says not "believeing" in evolution is like not believing in Calculus.

Lewis Black told me (and about 5000 other people in the audience) "I used to argue with Creationists. Not anymore. Wanna know why? BECAUSE THEY'RE IDIOTS."

All adds up doesn't it? Makes sense that Bush would endorse "Intelligent Design."


It's not about being idiots...although that would wrap things up nicely and neatly. Most creationists aren't idiots. They're offended at the idea that they descended from apes. This would mean that God is an they believe God created man from his own image. They've spent their entire religious lives steeped in the idea that God is a kindly old beared Dumbledore in white robes who lives on clouds and gives out jeweled crowns to the good Christians.

The idea that God might look like Cornelius (or worse, Zera) from Planet of the Apes is a jagged little pill.

mac macgillicuddy

God looks like George Burns. Always has, always will.


O, Mac, there really is an its' somewhere? - god, what a teratoma of a word! You're already giving me nightmares.
On theory, I was corrected only the other day by my brother, who knew I was using it colloquially, but who won a point, in our context, by preferring hypothesis. Those two extra syllables must overtax the Creationist/ID noggin, but perhaps they know that a hypothesis is commonly understood as requiring proof to move up in class. Ouch!
As for Lance's being singled out for directions to the Lost, Dazed or Confused - happens to me, too, for no apparent reason (I mean, drivers will stop and ask me, a walker) other than, perhaps, I look as if I know where I'm going. I don't always, really!

J. Rosen

Written a couple of years ago, but perhaps timely: (In the last line, feel free to substitute any name that fits the rythm, say "G. W. Bush".)

A molecule: given it self-replicates,
Add random mutation, it opens the gates
To wonders; selection, you see, with the time
Of a few billion years breeds a lion from slime.
Yet, pardon my doubt if that really is true
If Dennis Kozlowski’s the best it can do.

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