Playing musical second chairs with Dick Wolf

Law and Order fans are still shaking their heads over the big surprise that went with Serena Southerlyn's sayonara last week.

No point in going into it here.  What can you say about something so daffy?  Over at Lawyers, Guns and Money, Robert Farley pretty much summed it up.  All I have to add is that it's another sign that when he's batting for his franchise's big league team Dick Wolf isn't keeping his eye on the ball.  The Triple A club, Criminal Intent, is where the action and talent are these days.

Those second chairs are the most expendable characters on the series.  They have only two real jobs, to react to whatever courtroom magic or back room fast ones McCoy is trying to pull off, and to give male fans something to look at when they get bored with all the legal wrangling.  Most fans still miss Claire Kincaid.  I was fond of Jamie Ross. Serena was ok, but I could never really warm to her.

Now we know why.

I like this new one already.  Well, I like Annie Parisse.  She's beautiful, of course, but that's Wolf's bone to the Network execs who probably insist that all the junior ADAs be knock-outs.  Can't have anybody who doesn't look good in their underwear on TV anymore, especially not young female characters providing a show's only eye candy.  The Network honchos probably still can't figure out what Wolf sees in S. Epatha Merkerson

What's going on with ER, by the way?  How can the show have lost Julianna Margulies, Anthony Edwards, Eriq La Salle, Alex Kingston and George Clooney, and have the cast get even prettier?

Well, Lance, they can start by adding Maura Tierney.

Oh, yeah, right.

Parisse is a knockout, but she's a knockout in the way actual human females are knockouts and not the built-from-a-kit way Hollywood starlets and swimsuit models are knockouts.  She's got a croaky voice, a funny nose, big bambi eyes in which you can see the light of thought.  The last 4---count 'em 4---female second chairs, they had to dress down drastically to make them plausible as people who worked 100 hour weeks for lousy pay, doing McCoy's legal grunt work, and spending their working days entirely in the company of cops and criminals.  Jill Hennessy got so tired of it all that she's built an entire show around her hair and her Wonder Bra.

They're probably dressing Parisse down too, but she doesn't look dressed down.  She looks like she's doing the best she can and some days that works, some days it doesn't.

I don't know if they'll manage to give her an actual character to play, but I liked the air of hesitency and the look of wide-eyed self-doubt that kept coming over her, as if she was very aware that she was always on the edge of a disasterous misstep.  I got tired of Serena's A+ student swagger.  Dick Wolf describes Parisse's character, Alex Borgia, as being always the smartest person in the room.  If she is, then Parisse appears intent on playing her as the kind of smart person whose intelligence is of a pessimistic bent.  She's the kind of smart person who always knows just how many different ways things can go horribly wrong.  She knows her stuff, but she's insecure and expects the worst, then overcompensates with bursts of over-confidence and misguided enthusiasm. 

We'll see.  Now that Jerry Orbach's gone, I don't have the rooting interest in the show I used to have.  I wish they'd do more with Ed, that would help.  But well before Lennie left, we'd become bigger fans of Criminal Intent.  It's the 8 year old's favorite show.  Yeah, I know, and my mother is appalled at us too.

He identifies with Goren, but he gets a kick out of Eames, because, as he explains, she's always so serious but she can be a joker too.

His interest in CI, though, has given him a secondary interest in the original and although it's on too late for him to watch he likes us to keep him up to date.

He knows all about the cast changes over the years, he can even tell you how many senior detectives, how many junior detectives, how many ADAs, how many main attorneys, and how many bosses there have been.  So he wasn't surprised to hear that Serena was leaving the show.  He was surprised that she was fired and he wanted to know why.  We told him the truth---the "I'm a lesbian" thing might have been more interesting if it really had been why she was canned.  Arthur Branch would'd be uncomfortable having a dyke around the office and she was hired by Dianne Wiest, and Branch also seems to be the kind of guy who'd want any excuse to expunge his predecessors' legacies---We explained that she was fired because she was too sympathetic to the criminals.  Not a tough enough prosecutor.

He said he could see that.

"She has a sweet face," he said.  "That means she has a lot of pity.  Defense attorneys have to have a lot of pity.  Prosecutors don't have a lot of pity.  They can have some pity.  But they don't have like a ton of pity."

Comments

[j. bryant]

this is ridiculous - you've got some great political posts and I'm content not to comment (I guess because I'm in agreement) but, I have to defend Serena. Initially I thought she was terrible and a joke but I think she grew into the part and earned her right to sit at the L&O kind-of-babe table (I have to say - none of them strike me as babes but I'm a female and we're much more critical of women's looks than men are). The jury is still out for me on Farina - if he can't start dialing it back I hope Eptha and Ed take him out.

Okay - I feel better I stuck up for Serena. No defending Wolf's 11th hour lesbian call - and I don't think a man would be inclined to fire a feminine lesbian anyway - in fact, I think they like them but I'm guessing on the male take of that one.

[harry near indy]

wolf never would have the guts to run a second chair who looked like, say, kathy bates, linda hunt or rhea perlman -- that is, an actress who isn't babealicious.

those are three who just came off the top of my head.

hell, even cathryn manheim had a pretty face, even tho' she was a big woman.

on cable, you could do it.

[Lance]

Psst J.,

I'm glad you chose to comment here. I like my non-political posts better anyway. I'd rather write about Law and Order than George Bush. I've already been scolded for not giving Serena her due so I can tell you there are plenty who'll appreciate your coming to her defense.

Harry,

The one who bothers me is Mariska Hargitay on Special Victims Unit. She's investigating sex crimes and they let her dress like she does?

[mary]

I never got used to Serena. She didn't ever get good, she just got less bad. I caught a rerun the other day of an episode with Linda Thorson (of the original Avengers...she replaced Emma Peel!) and John Schuck, and Elisabeth Rohm's acting was so awful it was breathtaking. I miss Jill Hennesey and Carey Lowell. I never liked Angie Harmon. Even before I knew her politics, I figured her for an illegitimate child of a Bush, probably George.

[mac macgillicuddy]

I can't remember the name of the woman cop in L&O/SVU, but if ever there was an actor who could inject real character into what is essentially a procedural-plot catalyst, it is she (her? she...no.. what would William Safire say?). The male partner is very good too.

As for CI, I, too, am apalled that your 8 yo watches it ;)

[harry near indy]

prof mannion, you're right about hargitay. i just realized that. but she is jayne mansfield's daughter.

btw, the folks on svu, which became my favorite l&o about two years ago, even before orbach/briscoe left, are wound pretty tight.

i bet elliott goes berserk as part of the plot.

olivia is very conflicted about her conception -- remember, she's the child of a rape.

fin? a true mystery, but i don't think he's an amateur stand-up comedian at the local chuckle hut when he's off duty.

munch? briscoe without the skeptical sarcasm -- he's pretty much a nihilist, or so it seems to me.

novak? nervous as all hell, and compensating by dressing much like benson. and have you noticed she's died her hair?

cragan looks like he's like to take a drink or two, but can't because he's on the wagon.

the only one who seems low key is the chinese fbi doc, who's character's name escapes me now. maybe his character has some sort of ancient chinese meditation technique.

they could use munch and fin more often. i love the belz when he was on homicide. now THAT was a great ensemble show.

[mary]

I looked in IMDB and the especially bad acting episode I mentioned was in Serena's first season. It aired in October of 2001. My son said her acting reminded him of the eighth grade drama club girls at his school. He was in the eighth grade at the time, and spoke from personal experience.

[irene]

annie parisse is really whiny. i felt the same way about ben stone too.

[irene]

annie parisse is really whiny. i felt the same way about ben stone too.